Feelings for Boys
by emileerocksyoursocks
Summary: One night, Dean hears Sam crying, and goes to find out what's wrong with his little brother. Things get... complicated. wee!cest; wincest. slash. underage; the boys are teens for most of it.
1. A Moment for Sam

**_This is my first wincest fic, so I hope I did well. Kind of short, but it was just on my mind.  
><em>**

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><p>When Dean turned in, it was dark in the small motel room, all the lights off, only the moon and car headlights shining occasionally through the windows. He'd already checked the salt lines, and made sure the doors were locked, Sammy already having gone to sleep about two hours earlier. He sighed as he laid down, muscles aching in relief, the beds in this place better than the last motel they were at. He turned on his side, letting his head sink into the pillow, eyes drifting shut. He let himself relax and get ready for another restless sleep while his father was away, when he heard soft noises coming from the other side of the room. Sniffles and deep breaths. He sighed inaudibly and turned on his other side, able to faintly see his brother with his back to him, body shaking softly with the light sobs he was emitting. Dean pulled himself off the mattress and made his way over to Sam's, settling down with his chest pressed to the kid's back.<p>

He wrapped an arm around him, whispering into his hair, "What's goin' on, Sammy? You okay?"

"I-I'm sorry I w-woke you up, D-Dean." Sammy sniffled and wiped at his eyes with the over-sized flannel shirt that didn't belong to him, trying not to add to all the things his brother had to deal with while dad was away, to be a real man and just suck it up.

"Don't be sorry, it's okay. I wasn't sleeping, anyway. Will you tell me what's wrong?" The older boy tried, moving his hand up and tucking some of Sam's hair behind his ear, getting it out of his eyes. He heard the other Winchester intake a shaky breath, hold it, then let it out a few moments later, trying to steady himself.

"I-I just... I feel so alone, Dean. Dad leaves all the time and we don't know if he'll come back, and we're always the new kids at school, and I usually don't fit in. And you're getting older and having dates and stuff, and you're not my best friend anymore, and-" Sam was rambling, but was cut off by his brother.

"Hey, hey, hey. I'll always be your best friend. Forever. You're my baby brother and I love you. And as for the other stuff, we'll get through it. We always get through it. Together." Dean told him, holding him close like a hug, feeling Sammy cuddle into him and relax.

"You really mean that?"

"Of course I do. We'll always get thr-"

"N-No, I mean... You love me? No matter what, you'll always be there for me?"

"Of course, Sammy. No matter what." Dean was nervous, he couldn't deny that. What could be making his brother like this after he'd almost never shown it before? He wasn't even looking up at him. He wrapped his arm back around the other's middle and waited for him to go on.

"Dean... I have these-these feelings. And it's more than stressful. A-And I'm scared. I don't know what to do." The younger Winchester's voice was just above a whisper, tears still spilling from his eyes and onto the cheap pillowcase. He didn't want anyone to know, but he felt like it was eating him up inside, and he didn't want to do something he'd regret with a stranger later opposed to telling his brother now.

"What feelings, Sam?" Dean whispered back, furrowing his brows, wanting to know. He'd thought of a few possibilities, and they all made him uneven. Sammy took another deep breath, shuddering, the taller teen holding him tighter against his chest until it was over.

"Feelings... f-for boys."

"Like, what kinds of feelings?"

"L-Like, liking them, Dean. Like you like girls. I can't help it," He said, starting to ramble, getting it all out in a sort of frenzy, "I-I saw two boys at school yesterday, o-older boys. They were kissing, and I couldn't look away."

His little brother was crying again, soft sobs racking his small frame. Dean listened, taking in the information, that his brother was drawn to guys more than girls. Sam sobbed especially hard, and it hurt the older's heart, deep in his chest.

"I-I liked it, too. And then started touching each other, and I wanted that. And then I made a noise and they looked up at me. I got scared... and embarrassed, so I ran away." The younger Winchester was worried that his big brother would hate him, maybe even hit him for being 'abnormal' as their father put it.

Dean thought desperately for something to say, and remembered last week when their dad slaughtered two vamps, who happened to be gay. He'd made hateful comments toward them, and called them names under his breath. Is that why Sam locked himself in the bathroom so he didn't have to go? He opened his mouth to say that he accepted him, when Sammy cut him off.

"I'm sorry, Dean. P-Please don't hate me. I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm sorry that I'm abnormal, and-"

"No, Sam. Don't you dare apologize for something you're born with." The older teen didn't mean to sound reprimanding, but seeing his brother in this much pain, confusion and stress made him angry.

"B-But Dad said-"

"Screw what Dad said, you're perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with liking boys, Sam." He said, trying to calm down for the smaller teen's sake. He couldn't be intense and mad when he talked about something important like this.

Sam sniffled, voice sounding so full of emotion that it physically hurt Dean to hear it, "Dean..."

"I don't hate you, baby brother. I still love you, and I'm still going to protect you," He whispered, moving his hand up slightly to rub the other's arm, "Look at me."

The younger Winchester took a deep breath, and turned a bit to look up into his brother's soft green eyes. Dean smiled softly despite how unhappy it made him to see Sammy's eyes all red and puffy, with his cheeks wet from where the tears spilled over. The smaller boy smiled a bit, cuddling closer.

"It'll be okay, Sammy. You don't have to worry, I'll take care of you." The taller teen held his brother closer, letting him move his arm up to wrap around him in a hug, nuzzling his face close into Dean's jaw before they pulled away. Sam bit his lip then released it, looking over the other's face before he quickly leaned up, pressing his lips against Dean's. The older boy didn't know what to do, but his body acted for him, eyes closing and lips relaxing. He let Sam kiss him, feeling him fumble a little when he realized his brother was letting him, moving his lips a bit sloppily as he tried to imitate what he'd seen in movies. Dean surprised himself when he moved his own lips against his brother's, gentle and slow.

Then Sam was pushing for more, forcing his lips harder. The older Winchester set a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back just a little, letting his tongue sneak out and glide along Sammy's bottom lip, making him squeak and start to pull away. Dean moved his hand from his shoulder to his cheek, stroking his thumb against it. The younger boy eased back in, allowing the other's warm tongue to slip through his parted lips and touch to his own, engaging him to test it out. Sam gently lifted his tongue to push against the other wet muscle, hearing a small breathy chuckle come from his big brother, and he returned the movements before slowly pulling away. The older Winchester watched his brother open his eyes, big and bright, even though still red, looking up at him. His lips were wet and a little red, parted slightly almost in awe. He gave a smile, moving his hand away from the younger's cheek, brushing the hair out of his eyes again.

"Get some sleep, 'kay?" Dean whispered, watching the kid smile and nod a little. They settled back in, Sam's back against his brother's front, holding him tight to his chest.

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you, too, Sammy."


	2. Caught in the Act

It was Friday night when Dean stumbled through the door of the motel room, cute little blond attached to him, leaving kisses up his jaw, both of them giggling softly as they tripped over each other. Dean got her over to the bed when she kissed him again, lots of tongue and soft moans. His hands worked on her shirt, pushing it off her shoulders when the buttons were done, hand reaching around and unclasping her bra, making her jump slightly and giggle as she slipped the straps off and let it fall to the floor. Dean was in for a good night.

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><p>Sam sat in the arcade across the parking lot of the motel, trying to remember how Dean beat this game yesterday. He wasn't really watching, his mind too preoccupied with other things then, but now he was still trying to get the high score. When he did, he put in his name in and smiled because now his brother owed him ten bucks. He grabbed his jacket and collected the rest of his change, then left to go back to the room. He'd probably go in and watch some television before he went to sleep alone. Dean was on a date, and he didn't know when he'd be back tonight. He set a hand on the doorknob and turned it, seeing it was unlocked. Maybe Dean was home, maybe they could watch tv together… or kiss again. Sam liked that kiss, his first one, from someone more special to him than anyone in the world. He put on a smile and walked in, over the salt line, and his mouth dropped at what he saw. His brother was naked on one of the beds, hovering over a girl who was also naked. Sam could see his brother inside her. They were both moaning, and the younger Winchester's ears focused on Dean's low groans, voice rough and scratchy. He outlined the curves of Dean's shoulders with his eyes and worked his way down, blushing softly as his eye came to land on his ass.<p>

Their noises got louder and the rutting got faster, the girl just about screaming his brother's name while her body convulsed and her toes curled. Sam watched in awe as Dean's body tensed and he let out a loud groan, almost a growl against the skin of her shoulder, both of their bodies slowing down. It took them a moment, but they kissed, tongues tangling and both of them making soft noises at it. Dean carefully pulled his member out of her and backed away, letting her close her legs. He slipped the condom off and discarded it to the trash, back to Sam. The younger Winchester took a moment to look over the girl in the bed, not helping the feeling of not liking her. As if he'd said it out loud, she looked over and gasped, grabbing for something to cover up her body. Sam gasped as well and stepped back, falling into the wall with his hand still on the doorknob. Dean turned his head and met eyes with his scared little brother's, and his own widened.

"Sammy…" He started but Sam was already out the door, slamming it. He mumbled to himself and quickly tried to find his clothes, Melissa or Maggie or whatever sitting up to look at him.

"Who was that?" She asked, holding the sheet to her chest. Dean got off the bed and slipped on his jeans before looking for his shirt.

"My brother. I gotta go get him." The Winchester said.

"He'll be fine, come back to bed." She said, which instantly made Dean angry. How did she know if Sammy was going to be okay? She didn't know his responsibilities or what was out there to hurt him. He's just a kid… who caught him having sex in their motel room. He was going to get so yelled at when Sam told their father.

"No, he won't be. I have to take care of him. You know what? You should go. You should get dressed and leave." He snapped at her, slipping on his shirt and getting his boots on and not bothering to lace them up, already heading for the door. He heard her scoff and get up from the bed, and he went outside, looking around for his brother in the cold weather.

"Damn it, why does this shit happen to me?" He grumbled to himself, buckling his belt and hating that his jacket was in the Impala. But he needed to find Sam before he could worry about himself.

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><p>Sam had stopped running and sat himself on the bus bench, tears streaming down his cheeks, upset because… Well, he didn't know exactly what he was upset about. He sort of liked watching and hearing it, but he hated the fact that his brother kissed someone else. He knew it happened, he'd seen it happen before. But now he felt different about it. He felt… betrayed. He could hear the sound of his brother's boots trudging up to him, and a heavy hand on his shoulder which he moved away from.<p>

"Sam." Dean's voice still sounded rough and wrecked, "I-I know that was bad. I didn't go on the date with the intention of that tonight, it just sort of happened."

"Dean, that was on my bed." He croaked, sniffling and wiping his eyes. He heard Dean sigh, and glanced up at him, seeing his arms wrapped around his muscular frame, only a long sleeved shirt over his torso. "_Stupid_," Sam thought instantly.

"I-I know. I'm sorry. Will you just come back inside? I don't need your sorry ass getting sick." The older teen said, watching exhale ghost out of his mouth before looking back down at his baby brother.

"I'm not g-going in there while she's there." Sam huffed, angry that his brother would think that was okay. He wanted her out and his sheets changed.

"She's gone, I told her to leave." Dean told him, shivering a bit, hoping his little brother would just come inside so they could talk about it, even though he wasn't a big talker.

Sam looked up at him, "You're gonna get sick. I won't take care of you."

The older Winchester was about to say some comment about how he didn't need taking care of back to him, but his brother stood and walked in the direction of their room, making him sigh out of relief and follow. Sam walked in and took off his jacket, throwing it onto the couch. Dean closed the door and locked it, glancing down to the salt line before turning and looking at his brother's back.

"Sam, I know I'm not one for talking stuff out, but I want you to know I'm sorry. And maybe we should talk about—"

"No, it's fine. I'm going to take a shower." He mumbled and made his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. The older boy sighed, and kicked off his boots, then went to change the sheets on Sammy's bed.

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><p>Sam spent a while in the shower, thinking and trying not to cry. Everything felt almost overwhelming and he was debating the feelings that were battling it out; anger, hurt, fear, sadness, even jealousy and lust. He honestly couldn't help it. He did like what he saw, and he couldn't get the image of Dean out of his head. He leaned his head against the wall and thought about just ignoring the problem puberty had given him, but it was starting to get painful. He knew he'd feel guilty, but he gave in. He didn't last very long, his hand quick and ready just to get to the point. He bit back the urge to say his brother's name as he came, whimpering lowly instead. He did feel guilty; nervous that his brother would know what he did when he left the room. He washed himself up, still feeling dirty when he turned the water off and got out, grabbing a towel. He wiped the mirror and looked at himself with tired eyes, wondering why he was the way he was. He just touched himself to the thought of his brother. That was wrong, too, right? But he wanted more, to have Dean kiss him like he kissed that girl in the heat of the moment. Hell, he just wanted a moment again. He sighed and rubbed the towel over his hair, then let it stay messy, wrapping the towel around his waist after. He took a deep breath before walking over to the door and going out, seeing Dean sitting on his bed, his own made up again, pillows placed exactly how he liked them. He went over and grabbed his duffel, heading back for the bathroom without glancing at him again.<p>

Dean sighed as his little brother closed the bathroom door, running a hand through his messy and unclean hair. He knew Sam wanted to be away from him right now, but he couldn't stay mad at him for too long, right? He got up and thought for a moment, then went over to the kitchenette, grabbing out the box of Lucky Charms cereal and the milk jug. He set them on the table before grabbing a bowl and spoon. He fixed his brother's favorite meal and smiled when Sam came out of the bathroom.

"I thought maybe you'd be hungry." He tried out sounding happy, holding out the spoon to him.

"I'm not hungry." Sam lied, completely turning down the idea because that was Dean's way of a truce. He made his way over to the couch and plopped down, grabbing the remote and turning on the television. The older teen set down the spoon and sighed, going over to his duffel and grabbing out some pajamas.

"I'm gonna take a shower." He said, hearing no response from his brother. He wanted a response, even if it was Sam telling him to fuck off.

The younger Winchester heard the bathroom door close and he threw the remote aside, partly angry at himself for all this. He knew Dean would be in there for a while, so he had time to want and hate by himself. He looked back at the bowl of cereal on the table, and his stomach growled. _Damn it._ He got up and glanced at the bathroom door before sitting down and starting to eat. They were his favorite after all. When he was done, he drank the milk and neatly left the bowl for his brother to find, then moved back to the couch and laid down.

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><p>When Dean came out of the bathroom, long sleeved nightshirt and sweatpants had made him feel a bit more comfortable with the situation, not to mention he was now clean. But he was ready to let Sam be mad at him for a little while. He and Sam did that sometimes, they were brothers after all. Brothers that kissed… Brothers that caught brothers fucking a random chick in their bed… Oh god, this was bad. Dean ran a hand through his damp hair and wondered why he even did that. Why did he let Sam kiss him? Because he wanted to let him know he was accepted. What was going on in his brain when he started kissing him back? About how good it felt. Why did he have sex in Sam's bed? …He was pretending it was Sam. He shook his head a bit to pull himself out of his thoughts, walking over to take care of the wasted bowl of cereal that no one was going to—<p>

"He ate it." He whispered to himself, smile instantly pulling at his lips. He really hoped Sam forgave him now, since it was his peace offering after all… and he knew his baby brother hadn't eaten all day, so he was thankful for more than one reason. He took care of the things on the table, then looked around to find his little brother on the couch, asleep. He took a pillow and blanket from Sam's bed and set the pillow softly under the other's head. It half worked, he thought. Sam hugged the pillow close to his chest and Dean smiled as he set the blanket over him. He made sure the lights were off the they were safe and locked up before he went over to his own bed and laid down. He was glad Dad was coming back tomorrow, so they could get the Hell out of this town. They needed it.


	3. Controlling Yourself

It felt great to be on the road again; the rumble of the car, the smell of the leather seats, Dad at the wheel. These were the times when Dean felt most safe and calm. He could finally relax and fool around and sort of be a kid. He'd chosen to sit in the backseat with Sammy instead of the front for this exact reason. Maybe they'd play cards or something. But... That wasn't the case. Sam was staring out the window, looking sad or some version of that feeling, cramming himself close to the door and Dean was afraid he'd fall out if he wasn't more careful.

"Sammy, you okay?" He whispered, leaning over slightly and touching his brother's arm.

"It's Sam." The younger teen said, sounding vaguely annoyed as he shrugged away from the touch. He didn't even look at him. There was silence for a while, uncomfortable in Dean's opinion. He tried to think of things to say while he stared at his hands, then to how much space there was between them. Dean leaned closer again, and the other teen pushed himself closer to the door.

The older Winchester grabbed his arm, "Will you stop that?"

This time, Sam turned to look at him, "No." He pulled away and pressed himself against the door again, crossing his arms over his chest for the rest of the ride to the new motel they'd be staying at.

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><p>"Thanks Dad, see you when you get back." Dean patted the roof of the Impala and stood up straight, waving as his dad drove off. He looked around to find Sam already heading to the office. He threw his backpack over his shoulder and followed, thinking Sam intentionally slammed the door in his face so he couldn't get in at the same time.<p>

"Two queens, please. For... I'll say a week." Sam stated dryly, already taking out the wad of cash he'd won from Dean, or gotten from Dad or a job he did while they were in town. The manager looked unbelieving that a sixteen year old would be renting a room for that long, and looked up at Dean for a real confirmation. Dean decided just to blankly look around and let Sammy feel all grown up.

The younger teen paid for the week and got the keys, along with his change in quarters, then grabbed his things and left the room. Dean followed, not liking the way Sam was wearing his bitch face and walking faster on purpose, like he didn't want to be seen with him. It pissed him off. They got into their room and as soon as the door was closed, Dean was pushing his little brother up against the door angrily, holding him by the front of his jacket.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sam yelled at him, hands on the other's wrists, trying to move away. He hated how close Dean was, because really, he wanted him closer. He didn't want to feel that way. The jump in his heartbeat and the rush of adrenaline, his fingers curled around the sensitive parts of the taller teen's wrists. God, he liked it. But he wasn't supposed to.

"Why are you being a little shit to me today? I thought we were good now." Dean told him sternly, holding Sammy tighter to the door as he struggled to get him away.

"What made you think we were good? Because I ate the stupid cereal?" The kid dug his fingers into his skin, but that just made his brother get closer, groaning softly in pain. He shouldn't have liked that, either.

"Yes because you ate the stupid cereal." The older Winchester could feel Sam's harsh breath on his face. He was starting to be less angry, and his grip loosened ever so slightly.

"Did you ever think that maybe I was just hungry?" Sam stopped the digging to his brother's wrists and tried to push him away again, but Dean wasn't having it. He just leaned in more.

"Why did you have to do this? What's your problem? I mean, seriously. Why did you have to go and-" He was cut off by the younger teen's lips smashing to his, and it caught him off guard, but he felt a wave of shivers come over him. Sam moved his hand to his big brother's hair and refused to let him get away, moving his lips hungrily against the other pair.

Dean wasn't sure about what to do at first, but once he got his mind as fixed as he could, he was kissing back just as hard, just as passionately. He was forcing Sam up against the door for a different reason now, pressing their bodies together. His brother's tongue was pushing at his lips, demanding access, a small noise of approval in the back of his throat coming out when he was let in. The smaller teen explored Dean's mouth, trying to get to everything as fast as he could, to search every crevice and find the good spots that would make him push against him harder. The older teen started rutting up against him, height making it a bit difficult but still able to manage when small sounds were starting to pour from his little brother's mouth.

The sensations overtaking him were more than amazing, the friction of the denim and Dean's hips were making him whine, and he was getting what he wanted. An extra hard move of the hips had him pulling out of the kiss, moaning the other teen's name and clinging to him. It was something he'd never really felt on this level before, and he wanted more of it, he just didn't know if he could stand it without getting overwhelmed.

"D-Dean, Dean I want more. Please, c-could we just...?" His train of thought wasn't very good as he thought about what he actually wanted. All he could think was _Dean_. Just Dean, and nothing else.

"'Could we just' what, Sammy?" The older teen's voice was low, a bit more gravelly than normal. It sent shocks down the younger's spine. Dean gently nosed at the other's cheek, waiting for a response.

"Us. You. I-I want it." Sam got it out, and he hoped his brother knew what that meant. Dean chuckled lowly, and nodded, placing a soft kiss to the other's red lips.

"Tonight, okay? We can do whatever you want tonight." Dean had to pace himself a little. He realized that Sam just wanted him, and maybe he should just go with it for now. He wanted Sam happy, and this was making him happy, too.

"But it's hard now." The younger teen whined a little, hips shifting uncomfortably. He wanted it all now, but then thought about what Dean was willing to give him and he was happy he got a promise like that at all, no matter what the time.

"Go take care of it, we still have stuff to do today." He whispered, moving the hair out of his brother's eyes before backing away. He was painfully hard, too, but he had to control himself. He wasn't Sam's age, he knew how to handle himself. Well... He hoped.

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><p>Dean walked through the isles of the big supermarket, leaning over with his arms crossed and resting on the cart he was pushing. Sammy had gone to grab milk, and he was looking for something for dinner tonight. He'd decided against trying to make pork chops, and opted for spaghetti. He wasn't the greatest cook, but he could make decent spaghetti. He jumped and fumbled when he dropped the box of noodles in the cart. Sam chuckled and took his hand off his brother's ass, setting the milk carton down in the cart.<p>

The older teen rolled his eyes, and moved an arm to wrap around his shoulders, but then decided to hold him around the middle instead. No one here knew they were brothers, no one could judge their touches now. Sam leaned into him, feeling like it was the most normal and simple thing in the world, but it meant a lot to him. A few people looked at them, and it made him nervous someone would call them out on it, but they did nothing more but look then look away.

"Spaghetti for supper, okay?" Dean informed, letting go of Sam to grab a six pack from one of the big fridges and set it in the cart.

"Yeah, okay." The younger Winchester started to push the cart, feeling his brother's front press up against his back, hands settling over his as they made their way to the checkout.

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><p>Dean's pants were unbuttoned, head tilted back and resting comfortably on the couch of the motel room as he sighed, feeling completely satisfied. He licked his lips and looked down at his little brother, who rolled his eyes and smiled.<p>

"Honestly, I think food makes you happier than people do." Sam told him, putting his feet up on the coffee table as he sat close enough for their thighs to be touching.

"Only pie, Sammy. Only pie." He grinned, wrapping an arm around the other's shoulders, pulling him close into his side as they watched television. It felt nice to have someone close, someone he really cared about, and that just made him pull his little brother closer.

There was a warm hand on his thigh, and lips pressing to his jaw, and he looked down in time for those lips to catch his. The smaller teen moved his lips slowly against the other's, feeling as Dean's tongue poked forward, asking for entrance. Sam let him in, sighing softly at the sensations this form of intimacy gave him. He didn't know much about all this yet, but he did know that he'd been thinking of how good this would feel when they got to it, and he was completely right about that. After a good bit of kissing on the lips, jaw, and neck, they touched more. Dean let his hands roam and dip beneath fabric, smooth skin under his rough and calloused fingertips, liking the hitch in Sam's breath when he touched along certain spots. The younger teen had his hands in his brother's hair, gripping, tugging, messing it up just because he could.

Dean switched off the tv when they parted, and lead the other teen over to the bed. They undressed themselves down to their boxers, but their eyes were mostly on each other, and when they climbed into bed they instantly got close. The older Winchester turned off the light and the room went black. Sam's hands felt around for him, licking his lips when he came into contact with skin. The taller teen felt along his brother's arms, onto his shoulders so he could gently push him down, back against the mattress. He got to his knees and crawled to hover over the smaller teen, leaning in close and kissing him again, Sammy's arms wrapping around his neck, hands tangling in his hair. Dean cautiously set his hips against the other's, gently grinding, feeling how hard he already was.

The friction made the younger boy whimper softly, and press his hips up for more. Dean obliged, but was slow and made sure not to apply so much pressure, letting his brother have the option of stopping whenever he wanted to, although the way he was starting to become less nervous and more aggressive, Dean didn't think he'd want to. Sam groaned, in a tone a bit lower, and tugged at the older teen's bottom lip with his teeth, pulling a groan from him as well. Kissing his brother felt the best thing in the world, it felt right. He sincerely wished that he didn't have to breathe. The kisses became open mouthed and breathy as the friction continued, Dean's hands gripping in tight fists in the sheets on either side of Sam so he wouldn't touch or do anything Sam wouldn't like. He wanted him to do whatever he needed to.

"D-Dean," It came out as a moan that had the teen who it was directed at moaning, "Harder. Please, more."

The heavier press of hips had Sam getting louder and moving quicker, head turning to the side to take a deep breath, and the older Winchester just couldn't help himself when he started to kiss and bite at the soft flesh of his neck, reveling in the noises that his little brother made. He thought so much about just removing his hands from the sheets and thoroughly exploring Sammy like he so desperately wanted to, but he stuck to his guns, wanting to make sure he didn't push this too far. He felt the buck of the hips, and he really thought about dragging their boxers down, yet he just pushed his erection tighter to Sam's and ground _hard_, getting out a choked moan. He licked up his neck and around his earlobe, letting his harsh breathing and soft groans fill his brother's ears. There was a tugging at his hair that made him growl, and Sam's hips bucked again.

"Dean, D-Dean,_ Dean_." The younger teen felt the orgasm building up quickly and he whimpered that name repeatedly, thinking maybe it would give some warning or meaning to what was happening to him, and his brother seemed to understand by quickening the rutting.

Dean listened when Sam came. He listened hard; to every crack in his voice, to how loud it was, how deep, how not so deep, how it sounded like his name. He tried to memorize it, just in case he never heard it again. He felt the convulse of the kid's body, and he tried to memorize that, too, although his own climax had washed over him, making his mind complete mush. They were both sweating, bodies now heavier and more tired, boxers wet and stained. But they kissed again. Slow and sweet, just like Sam wanted. His hands left his big brother's hair and traveled down his shoulders and arms.

"Thank you, Dean." His voice was just above a whisper, sounding wrecked as he still gasped for breath.

The taller teen didn't want to speak. His voice wouldn't let him, anyway. He placed a kiss to Sammy sweaty cheek and moved to lay beside him, not caring for the moment about his underwear. He felt a bit cold without Sam under him, and that's all his mind was screaming. _Sam_. How could someone's body feel burning hot and icy cold at the same time? He closed his eyes and just breathed. He was a bit startled when a hand came to rest over his own, and smiled when he felt breathing on his shoulder, and a head with shaggy hair nuzzling against his jaw. Sam cuddled into him and let his eyes drift shut, too tired to move anymore, not that he really wanted to. This was where he wanted to be for a long time.


	4. Taste

The next few days were the greatest of Sam's life. He and Dean were free to kiss and touch whenever they wanted, although they did most of it in private. At school, they stayed close, even though they didn't have many classes together. Sam challenged himself with senior math so he could be in the same room with Dean, and Dean didn't care about the schoolwork at all, as usual. He sassed the teacher, wearing that smirk that Sam loved so much while he leaned back in his seat and waited for class to be over. He would wink at Sam every now and again, which did things to him that he'd rather forget about having in school.

After school, Sam was walking down the empty hall, ready to meet Dean to catch the city bus back to the motel. He was suddenly shoved against the dark green lockers, falling to the floor after. He looked up to see the offender, and a group of three was crowded around him, one of them he recognized from History class when he told the correct answer after he'd gotten it wrong. He didn't want to deal with this now.

"What do you want?" He sounded a little bored as he got up and righted himself, smoothing out his jacket.

"I don't like little smart asses like you." The kid said, fists clenched. The two other boys nodded. Sam was going to be late to meet Dean.

"Sorry, I'm trying to have another growth spurt. Can't help it until then." He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. The boy growled and swung his fist, connecting with the Winchester's mouth, making him stumble slightly before he turned his head and looked at them, blood starting to drip from his bottom lip.

Sam looked at all three of them slowly, before settling his eyes back on the one that hit him. His movements were quick as he landed punches to his stomach, then one to his jaw to knock him over, and the other two barely noticed until their friend was on the floor. Their eyes widened and they looked at their friend, then up at Sam with scared expressions.

"Anyone else? Or can I go yet?" Sam looked bored again, and the other two stepped back, letting him go by. He walked out of the hall, getting outside and trudging quickly to where Dean was checking his watch. He got to him, and looked to see the bus wasn't there yet, a few people mingling around the stop as well.

"Sorry I was late." He said, looking up at his brother, who stared at him with slightly wide eyes, "What?"

"Your lip's bleeding. Did someone hurt you? Are they still in the school? Which one of them hurt you, Sammy?" Dean clenched his fists and set his jaw, ready to go back into the school and pummel the little shit who hurt his brother.

"Dean, I'm fine," Sam told him softly, setting a hand on his cheek and rubbing his thumb against his jawline, "He got mad at me getting an answer right in class and he hit me. But I hit him back, a few times, actually. I'm okay."

The older teen faltered slightly when there was a warm hand on his cheek, and he saw how soft the other's eyes were, and his anger started to dissipate. He sighed and brought his hand up, thumb wiping away the next drop of forming blood on Sammy's plump and now starting to bruise bottom lip. His voice was soft, "But those are my favorite."

"You can kiss it and make it better, Dean." Sam whispered to him, licking his lips to make sure the blood was really gone, at least for the moment. He didn't know if Dean would want to taste that when they kissed. The taller teen leaned down and captured his brother's lips in a soft kiss, giving special attention to his hurt lip, sucking softly before letting go.

The bus rolled up and it's doors opened, breaking the moment as their heads turn to look. The other people are lined up and getting on one by one. Dean takes Sam's hand, and whispers, "I'm gonna make you feel even better when we get back to the motel."

He didn't even have a moment to think about that before the older teen was pulling him in the direction of the bus, smirk on his lips that had Sam nervous and excited all at the same time. He wondered what Dean had in store for him when they got home while they were on the bus, but a large hand on his thigh was making it clear what kind of 'feeling better' would be taking place. It slowly inched up, more so when there was a bump in the road, until his big brother's hand was cupping his growing length, and he has to hold back a whimper, keep a straight face so no one notices. His eyes were wide, though. So wide as they looked down, then up at Dean, and he kept grinning.

"Just making sure it's ready." He said, liking the half nervous, half aroused look his brother was shooting him. Sam took a shaky breath in and tried to calm himself.

"R-Ready for what?" He thanked God that his voice wasn't as bad as he thought, but the taller Winchester just smiled wider like this was the best thing in the world.

"Me."

* * *

><p>Dean led his brother into the motel room, taking the backpack off his shoulder and letting it fall to the ground. He pressed Sam gently against the door, taking a moment before leaning down and sealing their lips together. It was slow and easy, the younger teen moving his hands to his brother's hair, pulling him closer. Dean was sure to be gentle with Sammy's lip, nibbling and biting softly at his top lip instead.<p>

He led his brother over to the couch and sat him down, giving him a grin, "Get comfy, okay?"

Sam nodded, but felt nervous and tense at not knowing what he had planned, "What are we gonna do?"

"You're gonna sit there, and I'm gonna make you feel good." He smiled, moving closer and wedging himself in between the coffee table and Sam, getting down on his knees. He shed his jacket and leaned up to help Sammy do the same, getting the hoodie off him before he was placing a small kiss to his lips again. He ran his hands down the navy blue shirt that covered that creamy, soft skin, and moved his hands to work on his belt.

Sam tried to keep his breathing under control, and watched those big hands as they unbuckled his belt and popped the button on his jeans. The older Winchester licked his lips as the zipper came down, and Sammy gently lifted his hips so they could be pulled down. He let them sit around his ankles and watched the younger teen's face as he set his hand over the tent in his boxers. Sam let out a deep breath and looked up into those green eyes, seeing they were already staring at him.

"You ready, Sammy?" Dean asked, hands moving to the hem of the only fabric separating them from skin to skin contact. He got a nod and another lift of the hips, and he pulled down his boxers, letting them pool at his ankles with his Levi's. He took the younger teen's length into his hand, pumping slowly, watching as Sam's hips rocked up almost instantly, "Calm down, let me do it."

The smaller teen licked his lips and tried not to move his hips as his brother's hand worked him. His eyes drifted shut, and his head tilted back, letting out a soft sigh at the feelings coursing through him. A sudden warmth, different than a hand, was on him, making him jolt. His eyes came open and he looked down quickly, his brother's head in his lap. Dean's mouth was wet and obscenely hot, tongue feeling around and head starting to bob. Sam groaned and whimpered, setting a heavy hand on his shoulder and gripping.

"Dean... O-Oh, God, Dean." He shivered, hips twitching, electricity coursing through his veins, breathing picking up. The older teen hollowed out his cheeks and sucked, causing a broken moan to leave Sam's lips, his hips bucking up into his mouth. Dean moaned around him, a hand of his own going down and roughly palming himself through his jeans, moaning louder. It sent vibrations through Sam's cock and up his spine, and his voice cracked when he made a sinful noise that went straight to Dean's lap.

He let Sammy's length slip in and out of his mouth, loving the noises his brother made because of him. He rolled the younger teen's balls with his free hand, lips and tongue moving up to tease the tip, feeling Sam shudder. There was a hand in his hair, gripping tightly at the strands. He glanced up and saw the other teen looking completely wrecked, flushed face and blown pupils, chest rising and falling rapidly. He smirked slightly and sucked hard on the tip, watching Sam's face contort in pleasure, eyes casting down to look at him. Dean's mouth left him and his hand took over again, slick with spit. He licked his lips and leaned up slightly, the hand falling from his hair.

"How's it feel, Sammy? You like it?" He whispered roughly, brushing his lips against Sam's, a ghost of a kiss, keeping eye contact.

"S-So good, Dean. Please keep going." The smaller teen whimpered, holding the side of his brother's face in his hand, feeling how swollen his lips were in the soft kiss. He let Dean move back down, and there was his mouth again, taking him back in. He rocked his hips up into his mouth, wondering now if he was allowed to, groaning when he got no objections. He felt the tip of his cock bump the back of his brother's throat and his eyes widened, worry shooting through him. Dean moaned as he deep throated him, pulling back just to do it again, both hands running up his brother's thighs. Sam was getting close, he could tell. He sucked harder, the younger teen whining louder and writhing a bit, "D-Dean, I'm gonna... I'm so close-I can't... _Dean._"

The older teen groaned at the taste of Sam's come, swallowing it, trying to get every drop. He flashed his eyes up, catching him throwing his head back as his hips pushed and rocked, broken noises spilling from his mouth, along with obscenities. He let Sam ride it out, gently suckling on the tip before he pulled off, not being able to help himself when he licked his lips before biting a claiming mark on the other's tilted back neck, making a surprised sound slip from his lips. He carefully licked over the spot after, taking his time, Sam pulling his head back up slowly and looking at him after. A soft, almost lazy, smile graced his lips, then he brought himself out of it at seeing Dean's pupils blown.

"Dean, get up." He said, making his brother give him a look of confusion, "Right now. Get _up_."

The older Winchester stood, thinking maybe he'd gone too far, that Sam wanted him away from him. He was painfully hard and almost embarrassingly close at Sammy's display, and tasting him for the first time. Some of that stuff really got him going; like Sam's blood at the bus stop. He could taste it on his tongue after they kissed, and that's the other reason why he wanted to give Sam a blowjob. And _fuck_, if it wasn't the best thing he'd ever tasted. Hands on his jeans pulled him from his thoughts, and looking down to see the already undone button and Sammy tugging down the zipper made him shiver.

"Sam, what are you-?"

"Shut up."

Dean didn't say another word. His jeans were being tugged down to mid-thigh and he stared at Sam's face, looking concentrated, although a little nervous. He felt like he should say something, that he didn't have to, but he wasn't allowed. His boxers were pulled down slowly, fabric rubbing against his sensitive cock and making him moan, deep and low as he stayed locked on Sam. Soft hands, much softer than his own glided up his thighs, a hand cupping his balls like it was unsure of what to do, the other wrapping carefully around the base, vein on the underside settling perfectly in the crease of his thumb where extended from his hand. He felt secure, even in the slightly confused hands. Sam started to pump him, slowly but it picked up almost instantly, a grunt and push of the hips making him tighten his grip.

"Fuck. Already close, Sammy. 'Cause of you," Dean rambled softly, setting a hand on his brother's shoulder, other hand going to his stomach to hold his shirt up slightly. There were lips on his abdomen, "So, s-so good."

Sam placed a kiss to the other teen's stomach, right next to his hip before getting brave and placing another kiss to the side of his length, hearing the hitch in Dean's breathing. He licked his lips and moved his hand slower, placing just one more to the tip, tasting a hint of the precome on his lips when he pulled away. He sped up his hand again and chanced a look at his big brother, who was already staring at him with wide eyes. He blushed and concentrated on making Dean feel good, listening to the groans and almost growls. Remembering he said he was already close made him want to work fast and see him fall apart; he hadn't gotten to the last time, he'd had his eyes screwed shut while his own orgasm ripped through him. But now he'd get to see it all. The hand that had been idly cupping his balls started to move, rolling them like Dean had done to him, feeling how full and heavy they were.

The older teen's head was starting to spin, the heat in his lower abdomen making itself very much known, hips starting to steadily rock into Sammy's hand. He watched the little amazed looks that were flashing across his face when his hips bucked a bit more forcefully or he groaned a little louder. And damn, it felt good knowing he was the one Sam was seeing this from firsthand. All of this. That thought washed over him and he could feel his release coming up quick.

"Sam, I-I'm gonna... Fuck, I'm about to come." He rushed out the last words so Sammy would have time to stop, but he didn't. He sped up his pace and stared up at Dean with this _look_, this look at had him coming hard all over his brother's hand, with an almost howl as he gripped his shoulder so hard it should have hurt him. Sam's eyes flicked to his cock and the white liquid covering and sliding slowly down his hand as he stroked slowly, watching to see if anymore would come out.

"_Sam_." He whispered, taking deep breaths, those big eyes looking up at him, hand still moving lazily on him. Dean moved a hand down and set it over Sam's, coaxing him to let go of his cock just before it started to soften. He held the smaller teen's hand in his and leaned down, connecting their mouths in a soft, gentle clash of lips and tongues kiss before Dean pulled away, "How about we get cleaned up?"

He nodded and Dean let go of him, gently pulling up his jeans so he could walk to the bathroom. Sam kicked off the fabrics that hung around his ankles then stood, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head as he walked, feeling the cotton rub against his wet hand. That made him stop. The shirt fell to the floor as he inspected the fluid on his hand, taking in the musky smell. He brought it to his lips and poked his tongue out, licking a soft stripe through the fluid and tasting it. It was bitter, and he didn't know how Dean swallowed all of his. It wasn't a taste he thought he could take that much of. But it was Dean, and the aftertaste wasn't bad, so he deemed it good. There were arms suddenly wrapping around his waist, a bare chest pressing up against his, and he couldn't help putting his hands on that chest, smearing the come onto Dean.

"Testing me out, huh?" His voice was a little scratchy, and the younger teen looked up and his assumptions were correct; his brother was smirking at him.

"Yeah. I like it." He smiled, leaning up and pressing his lips to Dean's quickly before pulling away.

"Good, now go start the shower, I'll be there in a minute." The older teen told him, and Sam beamed up at him before wiggling out of his hold and heading to the bathroom. Dean wondered if he could feel his eyes on his ass.


	5. Being Alone

Sam inspected himself in the half foggy mirror. He had a dark hickey from Dean's teeth biting into him a few days ago, and he didn't know how he'd cover it up before Dad got to the motel. It wasn't cold enough to wear a scarf, and Dean just _had_ to put the mark where it was noticeable. He sighed and rubbed a towel over his wet hair, thinking maybe that Dad wouldn't notice, or wouldn't bring it up. What would he even say? 'Hey Dad, me and Dean have been fooling around. Hope you don't hate us'? Yeah, that would smooth over really well. He wrapped the towel around his hips and walked out into the open, much cooler than the bathroom space, shivering slightly as he made to get his duffel. He pulled it up onto the bed and started looking through it, hoping to find some magic clothing item that would cover up that mark. He knew he wouldn't find any. He heard a whistle come from the other side of the room, and he looked up, his brother smirking at him.

"Shut up." Sam blushed, turning away, but hearing Dean come up behind him.

"No." His voice was a whisper as it ghosted over the back of the younger teen's neck. He leaned in and kissed along his shoulder, then moved closer to get his lips on Sammy's neck. He was confused when Sam pulled away, "What's wrong?"

"How am I going to cover this up, Dean?" He turned and showed the mark, and the thought he saw his big brother blush. The older Winchester gave him an apologetic look, then moved around him to look through his duffel.

"Maybe... Dad won't notice." Dean lied, lied right through his teeth. Because, _of course_, Dad would notice something like that on one of his sons. The mark was dark and it contrasted with Sammy's light skin. He was suddenly afraid to see their father, like he would know exactly what happened; exactly what they'd been doing. He felt a wave of guilt and shame hit him, and for a moment was torn between his father's opinion and being happy with Sam.

"Maybe... I'll just wear my jacket with the collar up." Sam broke through his thoughts, hands touching his own to move them away from the bag. He watched as Sam took a few pieces of clothing out, then saw the towel drop to the floor. He couldn't help the trip his eyes made up his brother's body, loving seeing him naked. After they'd showered together, Sammy was less self conscious. He felt proud he'd helped him with something like that. He tried not to stare as he got dressed, but the smirk on Sam's lips was enough to tell him that he wanted to be watched.

"Sammy, you can't be silently whoring yourself out for me, you don't know what'll happen." He warned playfully, packing his washed clothes into his duffel bag, "You might get into trouble."

"What are you gonna do, Dean? Spank me?" There was a hint of laughter in his voice, but he meant it, anyway. He sat down on the bed to put his socks on, but was pushed over almost instantly, a body pressed to his. Dean just couldn't help himself as he hovered over him, a leg in between both of Sam's to keep himself steady.

He leaned down, whispering, "You want me to spank you, Sam?" He grabbed the younger teen's wrists, pinning them down on the mattress, "Hold you down, maybe?"

"Mm." Sam struggled softly against his brother's grip, actually liking the way those bigger hands curled around him almost effortlessly, rough, long fingertips holding the sensitive parts of his wrists. Dean nipped at his earlobe.

"You want me to be rough with you." His voice was just a little more scratchy, slightly awed, and he wanted Sammy so bad at that moment of realization. But Dad was coming to get them. They didn't have time. Sam pressed himself up, against him, still shirtless chest bumping up against Dean's clothed one. He sighed and kissed him softly, loosening his grip before pulling away all together, getting up.

"What the hell?" The smaller teen leaned up on his elbows, "Come back here."

"Can't. Dad's coming, remember?" He finished packing away his clothes, even though he so desperately wanted to go back over and touch every bit of skin, map out every freckle, scar, and birthmark on his body-not that he didn't know where a lot of them were already, "Get dressed, Sammy."

* * *

><p>As the Impala pulled up in the parking lot, Dean's stomach flipped with anxiety. He felt physically ill. Their father got out of the car, door squeaking. He smiled at them, looking tired and a little wrecked, like he always did after a hunt on his own. Dean stood up straight and threw his bags in the trunk when it was unlocked.<p>

"Hey, boys." John said, looking them over, smiling. He was glad to see that his sons were okay and looked fine while he was gone.

"Hi, Dad." Sam muttered, putting his things in the trunk, trying not to draw attention to himself. He was bundled up for the most part, collar on his flannel and jacket up, hoping it would be concealing his neck good enough.

"Hey, Sammy. Trying to be like your big brother?" He reached out and fiddled the collars, then pushed them back to see the teen's face better. He stopped when he caught sight of a purple spot marring his skin, "Where'd you get that?"

"U-Uh..." Sam tried to think of a quick reason, but Dean beat him to it.

"Come on, Sammy. You don't gotta be a prude about it." The older teen said, looking up at their father, "He met a girl; cute little thing. I couldn't keep them away from each other."

John chuckled, "Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself while you were here... You were safe, weren't you?"

"Dad... I-I didn't.. God." Sam was blushing, and he moved away from the two other people, going and leaning against the car with his back turned to them.

Dean let out a fake chuckle and looked up at his father, forcing to look into his eyes, "So, where are we headed?"

"Map's in the front seat. You mind driving while I get some shut eye in the back?" He asked, handing over the keys.

"Of course, Dad."

* * *

><p>Sam was silent as the car rumbled down the long stretch of country road, no other vehicles around for miles. John was asleep in the back seat, sunglasses over his closed eyes and jacket pillowing his head. Dean had a had on the wheel, other resting comfortably on his own leg as he looked out at the road.<p>

"You okay?" The older teen asked, glancing over at his brother, watching him nod a little.

"Fine."

Dean wasn't convinced, not for a moment. He reached over and gently pulled Sammy's hand into his own, setting them comfortably between the seats. Sam looked into the backseat to check, but the older teen squeezed his hand.

"He's asleep, Sammy. It's okay, we're okay." He kept his voice a bit lower, but didn't let go of his hand. He saw as Sam relaxed, a smile gracing his features, actually bringing their hands up and kissing Dean's, making the older Winchester's heart beat faster.

"Love you, Dean." The younger teen mumbled, holding their hands closer, against his own chest, over his heart. He didn't know how comfortable it was for Dean, but he wanted his brother to feel his heartbeat, wanted closeness in a moment that wasn't perfect.

"Love you, too, Sam." He refrained from using his little brother's baby name, deeming it not right for the situation, even though he had a feeling he'd be using it anyway in this very less than normal situation. He saw Sam smile wider, and that's all he cared about for the moment.

Another few miles down the road and Dean thought about prying their hands apart to get the map, although Sam wasn't having it. He wanted his big brother to hold his hand, and less just wasn't acceptable. He'd gotten the map out with one hand and had it unfolded all over the passenger side, finding the road they were on and which way to turn when they got to an intersection. They saw that they'd be heading into a big city, and the town and a half next to it was circled. That was a lot of area to cover and that would mean that Dean would be helping Dad on this one. Sam knew it, but he didn't bring it up. Neither did Dean.

* * *

><p>"Okay, you've got everything you need here. Don't wander off. I'm not getting you into school because this hunt's only gonna take a few days, but I still expect you to read and stuff, okay? And remember, keep the doors locked and-"<p>

"Salt lines on the doors and windowsills, keep the shotgun loaded and somewhere I can find it. Don't let anyone in unless it's you guys, and call you or Bobby if I'm in trouble. I know, Dad." Sam finished the lecture, already having heard it about a hundred times before. He knew Dad didn't like leaving him alone, but he'd rather have him locked down in a motel room than out hunting dangerous things just yet. He understood, for the most part. He glanced over at Dean, who'd been quiet while Dad talked, and sighed a little knowing this would be the last time he'd see him for a few days. It wasn't that long, but it still sucked, in Sam's opinion.

"Looks like you'll do just fine. See you in a few days, Sammy." John smiled, ruffling his hair before giving one final look around the motel room before heading back to the car. Dean stayed stationary for a moment, then moved out of the way of the outside, out of the view of John. Sam followed instantly.

"I'm gonna miss you." The younger teen blurted out before he could stop himself, and Dean chuckled softly.

"I know. Same here." He leaned down, tucking a few fingers under Sammy's chin to tilt his head up, lips meeting in a slow kiss, barely any tongue and a soft sigh leaving both of them. They savored it, but it was all too short when Dean pulled away. Sam tried to tug him back in, but he gently held his wrists, "I gotta go. I'll be back before you know it."

He pushed his little brother's hair away from his forehead and placed a kiss there, before leaving him standing there, walking outside and getting into the passenger side of the Impala. He licked his lips, tasting Sam on them, sighing at how he stood in the doorway as they took off, waving a little. He forced a smile and waved back, trying not to look back too far after the car started moving.

Sam sighed when they were out of view, and looked around the new scenery before closing himself in the motel room, locking the doors behind him. He would be bored for a few days, he knew it. He could watch television, or read, or go out in search of a library or movie theater, but all those sounded dull without Dean. Eating without Dean, showering without Dean, going to sleep without Dean. Crap, that was going to be the worst. He hadn't slept by himself in a while, and he wondered how that would go.

At around two-thirty, he ventured out into the new city, in search for a library. He didn't trust himself with renting out the books, seeing as he might not have the chance to return them, so he looked along the shelves. When he found one he liked, one that he'd been wanting to read, he went up and politely asked the elderly book keeper if he could simply buy the tattered and worn out book. She was a sweet woman, and she let him take it, telling him to just a few dollars into the donations jar and for it to be their little secret. He thanked her, and asked if there was any place he could go for a nice hot meal, and she directed him a few blocks down, to an open at all hours diner.

He sat by himself at a booth, book open and head down while he waited for his food to be done. He hadn't eaten all day. He hadn't really noticed until Dean was gone. But now his stomach growled at how the air in the diner smelled like home cooking, at least what he thought would be home cooking, and liked the small murmurs of conversations while the others ate. He was having a bit of trouble as he read, trying to get into the stories. It was a book of old, original fairy tales. He didn't know why he wanted to read them, but it was something interesting.

"One cheeseburger, with a side of fries. Extra side of salad, and a coke." The waitress said, making him look up as she sat the plates down on the table. He moved his book out of the way and she smiled at him, setting down his drink.

"Thank you." He gave her a smile, marking his place in the gruesome book before setting it on the seat next to him.

"No problem, sweetheart." She patted his shoulder, squeezing a little before she left him, heading back into the kitchen. She was young, and pretty; brunette with green eyes, slim but curvy. And she was nice to him. They'd exchanged names, and he liked the bit of attention she gave him. He smiled to himself, then started eating.

It tasted delicious to his empty stomach, and he savored each bite, taking his time. He didn't want to go back to the motel just yet, he didn't have much to do there. He ate as slowly as he could without feeling awkward, after his burger and half of his coke was gone, he brought his book back onto the table, reading again while he ate his fries, then his Italian dressed salad. He wondered how long the walk back would take, and how much time he'd actually have to spend alone in that room.

It was just shy of four o'clock when he finally made himself get up. The check had already come, and he'd already placed the cash inside. He finished off his soda and fixed his jacket, taking the check up to the register even though he didn't really have to. The pretty waitress was at the register when he walked up, and he smiled at her while he handed over the paid bill.

"How was your food?" She flashed him a smile and ringed him up.

"It was good, thanks." He shifted and tucked his book under his arm, other hand moving to push his hair out of his face. She gave him his change back, which he dropped in the tip jar, and then inspected the folded piece of paper she'd also handed over.

"I usually don't go for young guys, but you are just adorable." She said, and Sam knew it was her phone number. He smiled at her nonetheless.

"Thanks, Natalie." He held up the paper, and then slipped it into his pocket, although knowing he most likely wouldn't be using it. She waved goodbye and he smiled, exiting the diner, the sky more of a blue starting to mix with oncoming orange. He pulled his jacket closer around himself and began his walk back to the motel. He wondered if he would get a call from Dean asking if he was okay, but he knew that things were stressful on the job, so he decided against getting his hopes up.

* * *

><p>He sat curled up on the couch in the dim motel room, television on as he watched some movie he'd seen bits of before, but never in full. He didn't even know the name. His book sat a few feet away on the small table in the middle of the living room area, and he thought about reading more, but felt too lazy to get it. He wondered about what the job was Dean and Dad were doing, and if they were okay. He always prayed that they were okay. He missed them every time they would go on hunts without him, and he knew the only reason why he didn't was because Dad wasn't ready. He pushed that thought away and found himself catching onto a new one: He missed Dean. He really did. He wished Dean was here to hold him and kiss him and make him feel safe. He wanted to hear his big brother's voice, feel the rumble of it against him because Dean would hold him so tight and close sometimes. He loved it.<p>

The ringing of his phone brought him out of his thoughts, and he stretched out a bit to grab it from his pocket. He flipped it open and set it to his ear, "Hello?"

"Sammy." It was Dean's voice, rough and hushed, breathing a bit heavy. He almost sounded like he was in pain.

"Dean, what is it? Are you okay?" He heard a soft groan on the other line, and he licked his lips. Even if his brother was in pain, he loved the noises he made. He waited for a response, hearing the phone shift a couple of times, and a small hiss mixing with the labored breathing, "Dean."

"Fuck, Sam." It was whispered again, and Sam heard him fumbling with something, but he didn't know what. He pressed his ear to the phone harder. He knew Dean wasn't hurt now, and he was ready to hear all the noises he made. He waited for a moment, then sat up, making himself comfortable, hands already working on his jeans.

"Where are you? How much time do we have?"


	6. What's Right

Dean had the phone wedged between his cheek and shoulder, car parked at some forest edge a ways over. John had sent him out for books and beer, and he'd decided to take a little stop. He needed this. It had been getting in the way of the job today, thinking about Sam and how much he wanted him. He wanted to feel that warm skin against his again, and be able to kiss and touch and hold him whenever he wanted. But he could, and was, settling for hearing Sam's voice while they touched themselves together over the phone.

"Few minutes," He breathed out, slowing the hand on his cock, "In the car alone by the woods. I-I needed to hear you, Sammy."

Sam gulped and leaned back, hips rising from the couch as he pushed his jeans down, "I missed you all day, Dean."

"Oh, baby, I missed you, too." The older teen wet his lips, forcing himself to stay still until he heard any noises on his brother's part, "Almost got too distracted while I was on the job because I was thinking about you."

Sam fondled himself through his underwear, letting out a deep breath, letting his length harden fully at the sound of Dean's voice, a bit broken and rougher than his normal voice. He loved it. He realized he was supposed to say something, and discarded his boxers as he did so.

"Well, let's make it so you can work, okay? I want you back in one piece." He took himself in his hand and stroked slowly, "Dean... Tell me what you're doing."

"Got my jeans around my thighs, hand on my cock," The older teen heard a gasp, and he smirked, "Too vulgar for you, Sammy?"

"_Fuck_, Dean," Sam thumbed at the head of his own cock, making himself more confident. He wanted him to know that he could be good at this, that he could handle him, "I love when you talk like this. Y-Your voice is so deep."

Dean started to move his hand again, hearing the moan his little brother made, "Then I'll talk more. Just make those hot little noises for me."

The younger teen moaned for him, a bit louder, laying his head back on the couch, forcing himself not to blush. He was standing at full attention now, and his spine tingled at his big brother's voice. He tried to imagine what Dean was doing to himself, and it had him whimpering to the mental images; Dean laying in the back seat of the Impala and touching himself, hips rocking as he held the phone tight with his free hand. Suddenly he imagined something completely different, and that was him _on top_ of Dean, and both of them were naked. He didn't know what it was like to be touched back there, but maybe when Dean came back...

In reality, the older teen was reclined slightly in the front seat, but everything else was pretty much the same. But Sam let his mind wander, and he found himself rocking up into his hand, words coming out without permission, "When you get back, I want you to touch me."

"You know I will. Every little piece of skin I can get to. You'll be begging by the time I'm done." He let out a groan, hips rising before he forced them back down, trying not to get ahead of himself as ideas and images flashed to the front of his mind.

"Please, Dean." Sam's breath became heavy, and it was an actual plea, even if he didn't know exactly what for. His hand unconsciously tightened on himself and started to move quicker.

"Fuck," The older Winchester growled, lip being pulled between his teeth before he let it go again, "Sam, you have no idea how bad I want you."

"I want you on top of me again." He moaned without thinking, starting to feel that building heat low in his belly, and God, this was embarrassing. Dean's voice alone was going to make him come early.

"I want to be inside you." And really, he shouldn't have just said that. It momentarily stopped him from moving, from thinking. He might have just freaked Sam out to the point where he wouldn't want him anymore. An adrenaline rush hit him.

"D-Dean!" The younger teen thrashed slightly as he came, not caring about how loud he groaned, or the fact that he got off on his brother saying exactly what his mind was thinking up for him, "Dean, please. P-Please."

And then Dean was coming, with a choked out noise that sounded like Sammy's name mixed with a groan, and his hand suddenly came back to life as he worked himself through it, listening as his baby brother did the same thing. He moaned softly just at the thought. The noises of their heavy breathing filled the phone line as they calmed down, but after a minute, Dean felt like he needed to speak; maybe apologize.

"Sammy," His voice sounded wrecked, and he cleared his throat, "I... Look, I just-"

"W-Would you really do that? When you get back," Sam took a deep breath to steady himself, "...will you?"

The older teen went back to holding his phone between his cheek and shoulder as he seated himself upright, removing his hand from himself. He grabbed a few napkins, "You want me to?"

"Yeah." He furrowed his brows at how surprised Dean sounded, and sat up, his head feeling dizzy. He took a moment, then proceeded to the bathroom to clean himself up. He felt hazy as he grabbed a washcloth and turned on the sink. He let it be silent, and he used that as an advantage to clean himself up. Then he wondered what Dean was thinking, "I can handle it, you know. I know how it works."

The older Winchester had cleaned himself up and tucked himself back in his jeans when he heard that, "What? How do you know how it works?"

"Porn." He said without missing a beat, but then blushed. Dean now knew he watched porn... But Dean had been the one that seen it first. He remembered pushing the "Recall" button instead of the "Channel Up" button and was switched to an adult entertainment network one night a couple months ago. He watched it, then another, and did a little research. But he'd never had the courage to actually do it to himself.

"I-I... What?"

"Dean."

A sigh, "Yeah, Sammy?"

"Please."

He could bet Sam was making puppy eyes on the other line, "Fine."

* * *

><p>It was around three in the afternoon Dean and John came back into town for Sam. They had a key and already called the younger Winchester to let them know they were coming. Dean was ready to see his Sammy again, but the room was empty. There was a note, though, Sam's scribbles telling them that he was at a diner a few blocks down. Even his stuff was packed. It looked like he'd just gotten too hungry to wait for them. Dean stuffed his brother's bags into the trunk, and they set out to find the "Rosie's Diner" in Sam's note.<p>

Sam was sitting at the bar instead of a booth, backpack on the floor next to him, dipping the crust of a grilled cheese sandwich into ketchup before eating it. He didn't have his book up with him, leaving it stored away in his backpack. Natalie smiled and offered another cup of apple juice, but he declined, telling her he'd have to finish up soon. He didn't tell her he'd be leaving and never coming back, she seemed to really like him.

The opening of the diner door and the clomp of a set of boots made him look up, and he saw Dean looking around for him. He perked up instantly, smile spreading across his face, "Dean."

The older Winchester's head whipped around at the call of his name, and it would be an understatement to say that he was happy to see Sam. He walked over to him, a little more quickly than he was probably supposed to, grin plastered to his face. He restrained himself from full on glomping Sam, and gave him a one armed hug instead. The younger teen chuckled softly, wrapping both his arms around the other's middle.

"Hey, Sammy." He said, looking down at him, liking the way his face nuzzled his chest for a moment before they pulled away.

"Hi. Is Dad outside?" Sam was already getting out of his seat, sliding off since his feet didn't touch the floor, brushing and leaning into Dean a little too long before bending to grab his backpack. Dean was instantly brought back to thinking about the phone sex they had two days ago. He tried to push the thoughts away.

"Uh, yeah." He took out his wallet and took out a few bills for Sam's meal, and the smaller teen looked up at him, "What?"

"You don't have to do that. I can pay for my own lunch." Sam smiled regardless at Dean's expression, and just to see that expression. He was happy to have him back.

"No, I do. I remember, if this is correct, I owe you some money." He said, and vaguely remembered that he actually did. He picked up the check from next to the plate and walked over to the cash register, Natalie smiling at Sam a little too long, then Dean.

"Who's this, Sam?" She asked as she took the money and ringed him up.

"This is Dean, my..." He searched for a word. He didn't want to tell her the other Winchester was his brother, but... Well, Could he actually say Dean was his-

"Boyfriend." Dean spoke up, wrapping his arm around Sam's shoulders, pulling him close into his side. He felt protective, possessive, and maybe even a little jealous. This girl knew him by name... How close had they become while Dean was away? He put on a smile and took his change, shoving it into a pocket.

"Oh. How nice." She said, looking a little disappointed, "Well, I'll see you later, Sam?"

"Yeah, later." The younger teen nodded, being let go of. He threw his backpack onto his shoulder and smiled just a little as he turned to walk out of the diner. A firm hand but gentle hand connecting to his ass in a slap made him jump, and he looked up at his brother.

"Missed you." Dean said with a lopsided grin.

They stood a little more apart as they walked outside to the car and got in, the older teen in the front so he would keep his hands to himself. John smiled at Sam through the rear view mirror, "You do okay in town by yourself?"

"Yeah, Dad, thanks... Do you think maybe next time I can come with you guys? Instead of being the town next to it?" Sam asked hopefully, and John thought for a moment.

"Maybe. But now, we're off to Bobby's." Dad told them, and they buckled up as the car started moving, "While we're there, Dean, I want you to take Sam onto some of the back roads and help him drive... But not in the Impala."

"Okay, Dad." Dean smiled, because he knew it would mean more than normal time alone with Sam. He looked into the back seat, and winked. He watched his little brother blush just the slightest shade of pink.

* * *

><p>When they arrived at Bobby's, it was all hugs and "good to see you". The two older men decided to talk hunts over beer and Sam was eager to drive, so Bobby gave them keys to a car and told them which part of the lot. Dean took the keys and led Sammy outside, not being able to help the hand low on his brother's back, inching around to his side until his arm was wrapped around him, pulling him close.<p>

They got around the wall of cars by the garage, and Sam pounced onto Dean, throwing them off balance as he tried to hold him up, hitting but thankfully bracing his back against a car trunk. Sam was kissing him hard, lips and teeth and tongue, not ready to stop for anything. The older teen held him up by both his hands on the high backs of his thighs, letting himself be kissed. He knew his lips would be all red and swollen, but he took it, and liked it. He squeezed his brother's thighs and Sam groaned softly into his mouth, fingers tangling into the short strands of hair at the nape of his neck. He tugged a little and Dean moaned then turned them, pressing Sammy against the trunk. He grabbed his little brother's arms at the wrists and pinned them back on the old car's cool metal, making his back arch as he tried to get closer, struggling just because it felt good.

"Sammy." Dean made his voice commanding and deep. Sam went still except for his legs slowly tightening around Dean's hips and _God_, it was good. He let his breath ghost up the younger teen's neck and ear, "If they don't hear an engine turn over, they'll come to look for us."

"But-" And he was being kissed again, hard, the older teen biting down on his bottom lip and breaking the skin, listening to the moan and feeling the roll of hips that Sam made. He struggled against Dean again, pressing up to him and pulling like he wanted to get away. He felt him sucking at his lip, and he shivered at how it clicked in his brain. He was tasting him, and Sam really liked it, "Mm, Dean."

Dean needed to stop. He just told Sam they needed to stop, but he couldn't get enough of him. He sealed their mouths together and his tongue slipped in to twist with Sam's, feeling friction as he caught their hips right. They moaned and the younger teen managed to pull away for breath, turning his head to the side. There were lips at his neck, and teeth, the hands on his wrists tightening. Dean's hips ground onto his and he whimpered, mustering up the strength before he pushed up hard. They fell back onto the ground, Sam cradling Dean's head so he wouldn't get hurt. The older Winchester looked up at him with wide eyes, and he set their hips together, leaning down.

"Give me the keys." He whispered, breath tingling Dean's lips. The older teen shivered and reached into his right front pocket, right under Sammy's warm thigh, grabbing out the keys. He held them up, and his brother smiled, taking them, "Come on, Dean. We can pace ourselves out."

"I sure hope we can." Dean took a deep breath, and Sam got off him, helping him stand. They kept their hands together while they found the car, only parting when they got into the car. "_This is definitely gonna kill my boner._" Dean thought as soon as the doors closed.

* * *

><p>"Sam! Sammy, stop the car! Shit, be careful!" Dean screamed as they screeched down the road, going at least sixty-five. He was too busy holding the car for dear life and yelling for Sam to stop.<p>

The younger teen laughed and took one hand off the wheel, which made Dean scream. He took his big brother's hand and held it tight, "Don't worry, Dean! I'm a great driver!"

The taller teen gripped Sam's hand and took deep breaths, "W-We should turn around."

Sam slowed down the car, and looked over at his brother, "Kiss me."

"What? Now?" Dean said, exasperated and scared that the other teen wasn't looking at the road.

"Yeah, now." The younger teen grinned, starting to speed up the car again to urge his brother on. Dean made a noise and turned to him, grabbing his face and kissing him, pulling away after a moment. Sam smiled and looked back at the road, then turned the car around, starting to head back to Bobby's house. Sam was debating something, and a gentle squeeze of the hand from his brother told him all he needed to. He slowed the car, then turned into a hidden drive that led to a barn that used to be Bobby's. He'd found it one day a few years ago, and he knew it wasn't used anymore.

"Sammy, where are we going?" Dean looked around. He'd never been back on this road before, but he wasn't too worried, Sam seemed to know. It became silent, and in a few minutes they were pulling up to a broken down barn, the whole area just about surrounded by trees. The younger Winchester let go of his brother's hand and put the car in park before shutting down the engine.

He took a moment before unbuckling, the older teen doing the same, probably thinking they were going to get out. He turned to Dean and maneuvered himself, climbing onto his brother's lap, straddling his hips. Dean looked up at him with a confused expression before Sam was leaning in, capturing his lips, hands going to hold both sides of the other teen's face. Dean let his hands linger on Sammy's hips, and the smaller teen let his hands run along the strong shoulders in front of him, then down his chest, to the hem of his shirt.

"Sam." Dean gasped softly as fingertips ghosted up his skin under his shirt, and he broke the kiss, but the other teen wouldn't let up. Soft lips trailed along his jaw, suckling softly with a brush of teeth that had Dean gripping those hips tighter, "Sammy, what are you doing?"

"We can do it now, Dean. No one's gonna look for us here." He whispered against his neck, nosing at the skin and breathing in his brother's body spray, slowly placing pecks of the lips down.

"D-Do it? Do what, Sam? Hold on," The older teen tried to push him away, but the pad of Sam's thumb brushed his nipple and he moaned softly, head tilting back onto the headrest of the seat.

"What I asked. You said you would," He pulled one of his hands away to take Dean by the wrist and move his hand back, onto his ass. He resisted the urge to bite into Dean's skin and licked around his quickening pulse point instead, "You said you'd touch me."

The other Winchester made a noise low in his throat at the feeling of Sammy's tongue, and he processed the words while he contracted his hand where his brother set it, getting a slight rock forward of the hips. He connected that Sam wanted more. A lot more, actually. He wanted Dean to follow through with what he let slip out over the phone. Sammy wanted to lose his virginity to Dean. He opened his mouth to say _something_; anything that his brain would say was right, when the smaller teen continued to talk.

"I just... I know it'll be better with you," He set his forehead against the side of the other's neck, eyes half open while the hand that wasn't in Dean's shirt fist in the unbuttoned plaid over shirt to hold himself to him, "I tried it by myself while I was alone, and it hurt. But I know you can make me feel good, Dean. You always do."

"Y-You tried it yourself?" Was what came out, and it must have sucked for Sam, because he probably didn't have any lube or much of how to go about it. Dean did, he'd tried it a few times himself, and he had a tube of lubricant in his jeans pocket, just in case.

"Yeah. I, um... Just yeah." Sam was starting to feel self conscious again, and God, this wasn't the time. He wanted his brother to touch him, he wanted his brother to follow through with his agreement, "Please, Dean."

"Sam, I gotta... I don't-Just... We need more time, more room." Dean tried to postpone what he was pretty sure Sam wanted at this very moment. This kid was trying to kill him, because he really didn't know if he could handle completely ruining Sam. This, what they had right now; the kissing, the touching. This was what Dean could handle, what he thought Sam could handle. And he had slipped a little, let his kisses go a little too long and his touches a little too intimate, but the younger teen was starting to be like a drug to him. But that was no excuse.

"Dean, I'm right here. I wanna be as close as I can when we do this. I just want you; need you." Sammy set his hand against Dean's heart and kissed his pulse point, and Dean hated himself. He was ruining Sam.

"L-Later, Sam. In a few days, okay? Give me a few days, and I'll... I'll find somewhere for us. Okay?" Dean just about begged in a half-whisper, not fully trusting his voice. He removed his hands from his little brother, and the warmth of Sam against his neck and chest were gone.

"Promise?" Sam looked at him, not completely happy about having to wait even longer, but if the older teen promised, it would happen.

Dean tried not to hesitate, "Yeah. I promise."

The smaller Winchester smiled softly, and Dean hated himself even more for how young and innocent he looked, even with blown pupils and swollen lips. Sam kissed him gently, and he had to force himself to lie and think it was really okay.


	7. Irresponsible

Sam was spending a long time in the bathroom. Like, the past hour. And it annoyed Dean, but at least it was better than Sam pestering him about when they were going to carry out Dean's promise. He understood that he wanted it, and Dean wanted it, too... But he wasn't sure yet. He thought maybe he should just get it over with, make his brother feel good then cut him off. Yeah, being cut off from touching Sam... That wouldn't go too well for both of them. He sighed and adjusted his seating on the bed, trying to watch the film on the small television the room provided. He thought he heard giggling, and he looked over at the bathroom door.

"What the hell is he doing in there?" Dean whispered to himself. He heard clatter and there was a soft groan, and he thought for a moment that Sam was hurt. Until the door came open and stumbled out a half dressed Sam, with an almost gone glass bottle of vodka gripped in his hand.

"Dean!" The younger teen said, smiling wide at his brother, teetering in his place before he made to get to the bed.

The other Winchester stared at him with wide eyes, a bit unbelieving of what he was seeing. Because really, when did Sam get alcohol? When did Sam even start drinking? The smaller teen haphazardly set the bottle on the nightstand, it almost falling off before he chuckled and moved it over without fully knowing.

"Sam, what are you doing? Where did you even get that?" He gestured to the bottle as Sammy climbed onto the bed, crawling up to him. He straddled Dean's hips, pinning him there.

"Who gives a fuck?" He licked his lips, eying Dean obscenely before his hands were on his belt, trying to get the buckle undone, "Oh, wait. I wanna."

"Sam, stop." The taller teen grabbed his wrists, but felt that familiar skin and the tug that was given.

"Mm, just like that. I love it, Dean." Sam leaned in and sloppily kissed his brother, moaning softly. The older teen's hands released him and he went still, fighting silently about what to do. He couldn't help how much he liked Sam's body weight and heat sitting on him, and those soft lips, now tasting of alcohol. That somehow made the guilt deeper, but made the kiss better. The younger Winchester grabbed one of his brother's hands and pressed it to his crotch, "Fuck."

"S-Sam," Dean warned halfheartedly, letting out a deep breath as his brother's clothed erection ground up against his hand. Sam placed drunk kisses on his jaw, and the older teen thankfully leaned his head back so he could get to more skin. He moaned, feeling the light stubble scratch against his cheek, and he pressed his hips tighter to Dean's big hand.

"Feels s'good, Dean. Want... I want you so fuckin' bad." He slurred quietly, then licked at the other's neck, finding the perfect place. He bit down. He got Dean to groan, and he sucked hard, hearing and feeling a growl. He released, and saw the already turning purple mark, smiling widely to himself. He looked up and moaned softly at what he saw. Dean's eyes were dark, and his face was flushed, lips parted and swollen. He moved both hands to the older Winchester's hair, tugging his head back. He leaned up and kissed him hard, pressing the rest of his body to his brother, carding his hands through his hair.

Dean kissed back, only for a moment to get his fix, and then he took Sammy by the hips and changed their positions, rolling them over so the smaller teen was pressed against the mattress. Sam tried to grab and push for Dean, but he couldn't quite get him. The older teen leaned down and caught his baby brother's eyes, and he stopped grabbing, hips rocking from being impatient.

"No more, Sammy. You need to stop." He said, trying hard to make his voice commanding, but was failing while he took in the other's appearance. He was a little sweaty, bare chest rising and falling, lips wet and hair pushed back. Dean dug his fingers into the bedsheets so he wouldn't touch.

"But, Dean. I want you inside me, like you said. Mm, like you promised." Sam seemed to be getting himself off while just thinking about it, and his hips rolled up and brushed Dean's. The other teen held him down.

"Sleep, Sam. Right now. Do not make me say it again," The younger teen opened his mouth to protest, but Dean put a hand over his mouth and tried to push back thoughts about how kinky it felt, "Do. Not."

Sam gave a lazy smile that was covered by the hand, and kissed his brother's palm. He relaxed, closing his eyes, and the taller Winchester waiting a few moments before moving. He opted crawling down his brother's body, more slowly than he should have, until he was off the bed.

* * *

><p>Sam's head was pounding, and he opened his eyes, wondering if he should even attempt to get out of bed. When did he even get to bed? And why was he shirtless? Did he and Dean...? No, he'd be completely naked, and most likely sore again. He didn't feel any pain down there, just the massive headache and uneasy churning in his stomach. He didn't hear a television or radio, or even Dean making noise around the room. Was he alone? He sat up, and caught sight of Dean sitting silently at the table next to the window, staring glassy-eyed at nothing. His senses came back to him quick and he found himself feeling horribly ill. He made a run for the bathroom, and made it to the toilet just as he started hacking.<p>

The older teen stayed put, sighing as he looked out the window, trying to block out the urge to go to Sammy's side and coach him through it. But he'd already looked out for him; taking care of his clothes, cleaning up the bathroom from things he'd knocked over or broken, and he'd taken the bottle. It was now sitting right next to him on the windowsill. When the smaller teen had stopped, he turned his head to look at the bathroom door. Sam emerged after a minute or two, having cleaned his mouth, but still had a towel pressed to it just in case. He met eyes with his big brother and instantly regretted it. He didn't look angry, just disappointed. And the worst part was that he didn't know what had made Dean this way. He slowly walked over to him, but didn't sit down.

"Dean-" He started, voice soft and fearful for a reason he couldn't remember.

"What were you thinking?" The older teen's voice was cold, and he hated using the tone, especially on his brother. But he just wanted to know why he would do something so stupid. It was one thing if it was a few beers with him, which they never did because Sammy would always turn him down, but it was a whole other thing if Sam got stupid, sloppy drunk by himself. No supervision, no limit, and no experience. He could have hurt himself.

"I-I don't..." He held a hand to his forehead as he tried to think past the headache, "I don't remember. I'm sorry. What did I do?"

Dean stood and grabbed the bottle, setting it with more than a little force on the table. Sam cringed and made a move to cover his ears, but stopped to try to suck it up. He looked at the bottle for a moment before slowly picking it up, hearing the soft slosh of the remaining alcohol. He looked up at Dean, seeing he didn't look hungover like he'd seen before, and it clicked.

"Dean, did I? Oh, God. I did." He set the bottle down, expression horrific as he looked up at his big brother, "What else did I do?"

The older teen shook his head, not wanting to speak of what he did last night, but the smaller teen grabbed his arm when he started to turn away. He pulled away and grabbed the bottle, walking into the kitchenette and putting it in the trash. He heard Sam walking after him.

"What did I do?" His tone was so unknowing and almost ashamed, that it hurt Dean to hear. He sighed and turned back to him, not meeting his eyes as he pulled back his collar to show the dark hickey the younger teen had made. At the time, Dean sort of liked it. It gave him pleasure even though he felt bad that his brother was drunk, but now he realized that Sammy had drawn blood from being so rough, and it wouldn't be going away for a while. That brought about problems, like Dad being suspicious because Sam had one first, which was excusable, but now Dean had one, and they'd been in town one day with no one but each other.

Sam moved to get closer, but the older teen backed away, "Why did you do it? I know you want me to do things to you, but really? Getting drunk, Sam? You won't even have a beer with me. Do you know how irresponsible that was?"

"I-I just... I heard you talking to Bobby. You said that you weren't sure you wanted to go through with a promise you made. I know you meant it about us," Sam was starting to tear up, "Why don't you want to do this with me?"

"Sam.. I don't-" He stopped himself to rephrase, and lie, "I'm nervous that I'll hurt you. You're young and kinda small, and I'm just afraid something bad will happen."

Tears slipped down the younger Winchester's cheeks, "I can handle this. I-I can handle you. I-I can. We can have a beer and touch and kiss and hang out. I'm not that young, Dean. I can do this."

Dean sighed, reaching out and wiping a tear from Sammy's cheek, feeling how he leaned into it, "I want you to get dressed in some clean clothes, and you can use my sunglasses when we go outside. You should just be thankful Dad spent an all nighter at the library getting stuff for the next case, which you're working, too."

Before Sam could ask when their father was coming back, or for a hug, or forgiveness, the sound of a squeaky door that could only be the Impala's sounded. The older teen ushered his brother to the bathroom and handed him his duffel. The bathroom door closed just as the front door opened. John walked in the room, a bag and some coffee in his hands. Dean went and helped him, setting everything out on the table. He unpacked the bag, a few files for the case and breakfast for the three of them.

"I got coffee for you, and some hot chocolate for Sam." John said, setting down the tray of hot covered cups. Dean held back a comment about how Sam drank coffee now.

"Thanks, Dad," He said instead, "Sam'll be right out. He's getting dressed."

His father responded with a noise that meant he heard, and took off his jacket, putting it on the back of a chair before sitting down. The teen did the same, switching his and Sam's cups when Dad wasn't looking. Sammy could use the caffeine more than he did, plus he'd already had a cup earlier in the morning. He grabbed a muffin and unwrapped it, taking a bite. A few minutes later, the younger teen came out of the bathroom, wearing a believable expression of tiredness, not hungover and upset. His brother was a good actor, but he hated that Sam had to lie in the first place.

"Morning, son." John greeted with a soft smile, "Have some breakfast."

"Thanks." Sam rubbed his eyes before he sat down, taking a cup and sipping at it. Black coffee, just like Dean liked it. He was about to speak up that he'd chosen the wrong cup, but the older teen sipped at the cup in his own hand with a slight shake of the head. He understood. John handed his younger son a file, and he inspected it.

"There's a few holes, but I couldn't find much with the records office closed yesterday." John told him, and Sam shrugged.

"I'll go check it out today. I'll just say I was the guy's nephew or something." And God, Dean had a proud moment. He'd taught that to Sammy, and it actually stuck. He tried to repress the smile tugging at his lips.

* * *

><p>Dean came out of the drugstore, plastic bag clutched in his hand. He'd bought some Ibuprofen for Sam, among other things. He got into the passenger side of the Impala and buckled up, "Thanks."<p>

"No problem." John backed out of the parking space, and turned to get back on the road. They were heading to the house of the deceased, since they'd already been to the records office. Sam had done great there, acting and getting the information. Dean had gone in and observed, and held Sammy's hand even though they hadn't talked much after the little fight that morning. The younger teen had still accepted to hold his hand, and he leaned up for a kiss a few times, even though Dean wouldn't give in the first time.

That had gotten to Sam more than it should have. He wanted his brother to want him again, like they were before, like the night when they first did anything sexual. They were so close, but he also wanted the next day, when they kissed as they got dressed for school, and held hands on the bus, and how Dean kissed his forehead because he was nervous about a new school. He knew he was loved, but he didn't feel it as much as before. He didn't understand what Dean's problem was; they both loved each other, they both liked when they kissed and touched, and he thought Dean would love that he could take more of this relationship. He wanted to make his brother feel good, and if they felt good together, he didn't see a problem.

As they pulled up to the house, he looked out through the sunglasses over his eyes, then got out of the car. Dad took the lead, and the two teens followed behind, the older one's hand brushing the younger's. Sam looked up at his brother, and Dean gave him an almost apologetic look.

"I still love you, Sammy."


	8. Don't Apologize

Dean was confused. Actually, he was more than confused. He was frustrated, worried, and not to mention that he'd lied more times than ever now. And how many times had he had to tell Sam to put clothes on ever since that first kiss? Fuck, this was messed up. But what was he supposed to do? He wanted to stop, but he didn't want to. And Sam obviously didn't want him to stop, either. That was bad. Sammy, his little Sammy, shouldn't have been wanting things like this from him. But he promised. God, he promised Sam he would do it.

With them, you never went back on a promise, Dean's signature wordless "we're cool, right?" was Sam's favorite cereal, and Sam's "I love you, jerk." was an "I love you, jerk." That was just how it went. And sure, it changed a little sometimes, but there would be no room for changes this time. Dean knew that. So he avoided Sam the whole day. While they ate, while they slept, while they were at Bobby's. It wasn't the best move, because Bobby had noticed what he was doing.

"What are you doin', boy?" The older man had asked him, "Why are you avoiding Sam?"

"'Cause I don't wanna be around him." He answered, and wow, that was a good one. Bobby have him an annoyed look.

"Well, that's not good enough. Go play that board game with him," He stepped out of the way for the teen to go upstairs, then nudged him in the shoulder when he didn't move, "Go, you idjit. Go on."

He raised his hands in surrender, already walking up the stairs. He knew which spare room in the Singer household Sam was, but he wasn't sure he wanted to go in. There was a bed in there. But Bobby was staring at him from the bottom of the stairs, and he had to turn the doorknob his hand fell on. He stepped in the room, and saw Sammy look up from the board game he was playing by himself, and his expression was torn, like he didn't know how to feel. Dean gave a soft smile, and sat Indian style on the floor across from him.

"You're playing checkers by yourself." The older teen said quietly, trying to make conversation.

"Yep." Sam said, not meeting eyes with his brother. He continued to play by himself, keeping his head down.

"Can I play?" Dean asked, shuffling himself closer to the game board. He was happy he'd taken off his boots beforehand, or they would have clomped loud on the wooden floor.

"Don't care." The younger brother shrugged, but pushed the black checkers across the floor to him. He began to pick the other checkers up from the board, and two more hands were helping him, fingertips brushing his own. He looked up at Dean then, just to see those green eyes flicker back to the board.

They set up and played, but Sam couldn't help how badly he just wanted to give up the silent fight there were having and hold him close. Why was this even happening? They both had screwed up. He'd gotten drunk, and Dean said something he obviously thought he shouldn't have. Things happened. That doesn't mean they couldn't still be together, right? He nodded to himself, and looked up at his brother.

"I'm sick of this." He said, and Dean looked at him, confused.

"It's only checkers. Geez, how many games did you play by-"

"No, I mean I'm sick of this. Sick of the stupid fighting and acting like strangers to each other. It's gone too far, and I'm fucking sick of it." Sam cut him off.

"Hey, watch the language." Dean crossed his arms over his chest, feeling like it was the only thing he could say.

"Oh, don't tell me what to do. You've been avoiding me all day, and that's crap. You ran across the whole salvage lot so you wouldn't have to talk to me. Look, I know we made mistakes. I got drunk because I was depressed about you, and you got lost in a moment and said something you obviously regret and aren't going to actually do. All that just happened, and that's fine, I guess. I don't see why you're being such a jerk about it," The older Winchester opened his mouth to say something, but Sam continued, "I love you, Dean. More than a brother should, and I admit that. I know you love me, or you at least used to. I loved all those kisses and touches and it sucks that you don't even want to be platonic with me. Don't treat me like a fucking stranger, I'm your brother. And if you're going to keep pretending, then pretend you want to be around me so Dad and Bobby don't get suspicious."

And Dean was speechless. He really didn't know what to say. He still loved Sam like that, and was astonished that Sam didn't know. And he hated that he made his little brother depressed, when that's exactly what he was trying to prevent with that first kiss. How did he mess it up this bad? A part of him wanted to push it all aside and hug his brother, but then another part wanted him to just give up. But he never gave up on Sam.

"Sammy..." He outstretched a hand, but then the younger teen was getting up, standing up to go out the door.

"I don't want to hear about how it 'has to be this way' or how it's 'wrong'. Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I know Dad's gonna hate me? I like boys, and I love you. That's not normal, and I know that. I'm sorry I'm so different." Sam tried to push back the oncoming tears, and he had his hand on the doorknob.

Then Dean was off the floor, because God, he just needed to be. He grabbed his brother in his arms and held him so tight he could swear he could feel Sammy's heartbeat booming against him. He didn't think he'd ever let go. Sam's hands circled around him and clawed into his shirt, body shaking as a sob ripped through him. _Relief._ Dean had his arm around the other's middle, and one holding his head. He tucked some hair behind the younger teen's ear and made him look up. His voice was shaky.

"Don't ever apologize for what you are," He sniffled, "I love you, Sammy."

And Sam smiled. Actually smiled, with tears rolling down his cheeks and he held his big brother tighter, nuzzling his face into his chest and savoring the warmth; the love. Dean's eyes watered, but he didn't let any tears fall. But he smiled, placed a kiss to Sam's hair and waited until he stopped crying.

He brought him over to the bed after, not letting go of his hand until they were on the mattress. Sam laid with his back right against his brother's front, an arm draped over his middle, soft breathing against the back of his neck. He felt warm. He felt home.

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you, too, Sam."

They fell asleep there, and at half past two, Bobby came looking for them. He saw the left game of checkers, and the boys laying a bit too close in the bed. Sam's eyes were a little red, and Dean held him tight even while he slept. _Finally_, he thought, _They're close again. Everything will be fine._ And he smiled to himself, quietly walking in and covering them with a blanket from the foot of the bed. He'd heard them; took off his boots and walked up to silently check on them when he heard them fighting, and he didn't care. They didn't have a normal life, so why should them being together be so bad? As long as they were happy, it didn't matter to Bobby. And when they were ready to tell people, he'd be the first one to defend them if anyone had a problem with it.

John came back that night, and Bobby said nothing on the subject. Hours later, the two teens came downstairs, hungry and looking half asleep, but happy nonetheless. They ate, sitting close to each other at the table, and they curled up on the couch after, watching television. John was happy they'd started talking again, and was even more happy to see them actually interacting and sharing with each other. More hugs, more smiles, more laughing. Dean had a beer, and he let Sam have a sip, both of them sharing a look before they were smiling again. They looked like kids, which Bobby and John hadn't seen in them for a while.

That night, that was all that mattered.


	9. Following Through

Tonight, Dean decided. Dad had gone to a fellow hunter and friend's house outskirts of town, and Sam was unsuspecting, but horny nonetheless. It was now, he didn't have a choice. He'd promised, and it hurt to see Sam frustrated with himself, or a little distant, afraid he'd do something wrong. It wasn't fair to Sam. He walked up to his brother, who was looking in a draw for a new pair of batteries for the remote, and wrapped his arms around his waist. The younger teen stilled for a moment before gently easing back into him. Dean leaned down, placing a kiss to Sammy's ear, nuzzling his hair with his cheek.

"You ready, baby?" He cooed, fingers running down his brother's clothed abdomen.

"R-Ready for what?" Sam asked in a whisper, setting the remote down on the counter, his length stiffening already. He'd been on edge for days, not having touched himself in a while. He sucked in a harsh breath as slightly cold fingertips delved under his sweatpants, feeling blindly across his hips.

"Our agreement. You want me, you'll have me." He placed kisses down the side and back of his neck. The smaller teen swallowed hard.

"Right now?" Sam's voice shook a little, and Dean chuckled softly. He removed his hands from his brother's pants and lead him over to the bed, stopping at the side to kiss him slowly, letting his hands play with the hem of his baggy shirt. Sam raised his arms, and the fabric was slipped off, discarded onto the floor. He grabbed his brother's face and forcefully connected their lips, making himself confident and taking advantage of the moment. Dean eased Sammy down onto the bed, not breaking the welcomed kiss, letting his tongue invade the other's mouth. The older teen groaned lightly when their tongues tangled, leaning over him. Sammy's hands were tugging at his shirt, and he forced himself to break the kiss so it could be slipped over his head. The smaller teen's hands touched along his torso softly, almost afraid that Dean would pull away.

"Sammy, it's okay." The older brother whispered, brushing their lips together. He felt his brother smile.

"Come closer." He used a hushed voice as well, moving his arms to wrap around the other's neck as their bodies pressed together. He moaned as hips slid against hips, and he tried not to urge for more. Dean ground up against him, letting out a soft noise into his baby brother's ear, placing a kiss there after.

"Let's make you feel good, okay? Get all undressed, and I'll be right back." He went to get up, but Sam held him there, looking up at him, worried. The taller teen gave him a smile and peck of the lips before he was let up. He heard the sound of the bed squeaking softly as he walked to his backpack and grabbed out the tube of lubricant. He turned and watched as Sammy stripped off his boxers, leaving them to pool on the floor with the rest of his clothes. He already looked painfully hard, erection extending out from his body, and Dean couldn't help himself in licking his lips at the sight. Sam sat back on the bed, and there was a pink tint on his cheeks when he realized he was being watched. Dean held back a chuckle and got back onto the bed, ready to get between Sam's legs when he unexpectedly at up on his knees.

"Get up by the headboard." The smaller teen smiled a little, setting a hand on his brother's chest and gently pushing him. He smiled wider when Dean did as he said. He crawled up and straddled his thighs, "I wanna be like this."

The older Winchester nodded, eyes taking in Sammy's body before he was touching. Touching Sam's thighs, up his abdomen, softly tweaking his nipples. The younger brother moaned quietly, keeping his eyes on Dean. The older teen leaned in, mouthing at his brother's neck and collarbone, hands traveling south again, taking those naked thighs and pulling him closer. Sam let one hand curl in Dean's hair, gently coaxing him for more, letting him know it felt good. Lips and teeth moved along his jaw, until mouths collided in a needy from Sam kiss. One of the older teen's hands found the other's cock and stroked slowly, using barely any pressure. Sam's hips rocked into the loose hand, muttering "Tease" and letting it mix with the slide of lips and push of tongue. Dean chuckled and let go, listening to Sammy whine.

"Dean, come on." He broke the kiss and pouted, hands on his brother's biceps tightening so he wouldn't be tempted to touch himself.

"It's okay," The older teen picked up the tube that sat next to them, and popped the cap open, "Lean in closer."

Sam did as he was told and nuzzled close, hiding his face in his brother's neck, placing a kiss to his pulse point, "Be easy, okay?"

"Yeah, baby, I know." He coated two fingers in the slippery substance before setting the tube down, and ran his free hand along Sammy's spine, then one of his well-rounded cheeks. He set a slick finger to his entrance, and an exhale of a deep breath puffed across the skin of his neck, "Relax, Sammy."

"I know you'll take care of me, Dean." The younger teen mumbled, hands moving up to hold Dean's shoulders, to keep himself steady, "Please do it."

Dean kissed the side of his head, then gently slipped a finger inside him. Sam tensed and gasped, making the older teen stop instantly. He ran his free hand up and down Sammy's back, fingertips at his spine, trying to soothe the pain. The younger teen took a moment, then rocked his hips to let Dean know it was okay. The older brother waited a second, then gently pulled the digit out before easing it back in, feeling the smaller teen try to stay relaxed. He whispered words of encouragement as he slowly thrust his finger, letting Sam get used to the intrusion before doing much more. The smaller teen's pain wasn't as bad as the first time he'd touched there, which just gave more proof that everything was better with Dean. He gave himself another moment before he was shifting his hips experimentally, taking in a shaky breath. He leaned his head up to look at Dean, the digit inside him finding a steady rhythm, his brother pulling his lip between his teeth as they met eyes.

"You okay?" The older teen asked, voice slipping into that deep, gravel rough tone, and Sam's hips twitched forward.

"Taste me again." He requested, poking his tongue out and wetting his lips to push the gist of what he wanted, and Dean's mouth was on his in an instant, soft noise slipping from him. He got confident that Sam wasn't going to get hurt, and he started to stretch him a little more, while he searched for that spot that Sammy would really like. Small noises were starting to be made as he got used to it, rocking softly in time with his brother. An unexpected pleasure washed over him and he shuddered, moaning a bit loud that he should have before he could stop himself. He broke the kiss and looked with wide eyes at his brother.

"Dean, I-I... That just-" He stuttered, but got cut off by a nodding and smiling Dean.

"I know. Come on." The older Winchester pushed against that bundle of nerves again, and watched Sammy react, hips rocking and face contorted in pleasure. He set his hand on his brother's hip and began to guide his brother to ride his finger. Sam started out a bit unsure and nervous, but the better it started to feel, the less self conscious he got. Soon, his breathing was ragged and he was grinding his hips down for more, moaning softly.

"Dean, please. I want-_God, that's amazing._ I-I need more." The younger teen whimpered, and his big brother steadied him from rocking, setting another digit to his opening. He carefully slipped it in next to the first and Sam willed himself to stay relaxed, to let Dean stretch him. The older teen scissored his fingers and listened to Sammy take a deep breath, and he started rocking again, down onto those fingers and Dean watched in awe. His little brother just looked so... hot. And he was tight. So, so tight around his fingers, and that made his brain jump to thinking about how tight he'd be around his cock. He licked his lips and pushed the digits in a little more roughly, jabbing that special spot inside his little brother, watching his hips buck and hearing him moan. The hands on his shoulders tightened.

"Like that, Sammy?" He crooked his fingers when Sam pushed his hips down, listening to him groan and breathe shakily. His inner muscles clenched around the digits and that had Dean groaning, his own hips lifting to seek friction.

"Dean," He ran his hands down his brother's chest, abdomen, all the way down to cup the sweatpants covered erection, "You're hard. I-I wanna keep going."

The older Winchester leaned up and sealed their lips together, gently taking out his fingers. Sam whined softly, but it turned into a gasp when Dean's hands were on him, flipping them so his big brother was between his legs. He found them hem of the only fabric separating them and tugged, wanting it off as quick as possible. Dean chuckled against his mouth and pulled away, sitting up on his knees and slipping out of his sweats. Sammy's hand found his length and stroked, making him lean over him again.

"Fuck, Sam." He groaned, hips rocking almost involuntarily into his baby brother's hand.

"Please, Dean," The younger teen let go and spread his legs more, giving him a full view. The other teen crawled in close, running his hands down Sammy's smooth inner thighs, hearing the soft sigh, feeling how he relaxed under him. He looked up to his face, and saw how trusting he was, even though he was nervous. He thought of how trusting Sam always was with him, and how he looked up to him. He remembered how Sam wanted to be with him 24/7, wanted to learn from Dean, wanting to have everything Dean had. God, Sam was so young. Too young, and innocent. As innocent someone could be in this life, that is.

"Dean?" Sam ran a hand through the short hair, seemingly bringing his brother out of his thoughts, "Please do it. I want you to. I-I want you to make love to me."

Dean was suddenly scared. He felt like he was going to mess this up. The younger teen deserved better than him. He started to back away, "I... I can't do this. God, Sammy, I'm sorry."

The smaller Winchester leaned up on his elbows, "What? Dean, why?"

"Because I can't. I'm sorry." He was backing off, going to get off the bed. Sam got up and grabbed his arm.

"No, please don't do this. Don't go, we both want this." He leaned up and tried to kiss his brother, only getting to brush their lips together before the older teen was pulling away.

"I can't, Sam." Dean grabbed his sweatpants and tugged them on, willing his erection to go away. He got up from the bed and pulled away when Sam tried to grab for him again.

"Where are you going? Why... Why don't you... Why can't you do this with me?" He wrapped the sheet around his waist and stood, watching his brother pace and run his hands through his hair, "Dean!"

"No, Sam! I-I can't. I'm such a horrible person, oh my God." Dean couldn't even look at him, not now. He felt like he failed someone; failed Sam. He felt sick to his stomach.

"Why can't you? I thought you wanted me. I love you, why are you doing this to me?" He was frustrated, and upset. And so, so confused. He thought Dean loved him back.

"I'm ruining you, Sam!" He turned and looked at him, and he really shouldn't have. Sam looked too young, too small, too tired and upset, "I'm fucking up your life, your future! I'm making it so you can't have a normal, healthy relationship. I-I'm ruining you. You used to be so innocent. I-I'm so sorry."

Dean felt his heart break when he saw the tears slip down Sammy's cheeks, and he thought about how many times he made him cry. It was too many. The younger teen opened his mouth to say something, but it just wouldn't come out. The words caught in his throat, and he felt like he was being suffocated. He picked up the rest of the sheet and made his way to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him. Dean took in a shaky breath, and didn't know he was crying until he wiped a hand over his face, hearing Sam's muffled sobs from behind that door moments later. It wrecked Dean from the inside, out.

They never spoke of the night again.


	10. Grown Up

They were at a motel room a state over from Missouri, fast to get out of St. Louis after Dean had shot a shape shifter that looked exactly like him. It had shaken both of them up, and they were tired, dirty, and worn out. Sam and Dean were just getting back into the swing of things, in working together, but they couldn't get over how much the other had grown over their time apart. Dean couldn't stop looking at his brother; he'd grown up so much, now taller than him and smarter than ever. He looked so good. Sam was astounded at how handsome his big brother had gotten, even though he always knew Dean was going to be gorgeous. He was gorgeous when they were kids. But now, more prominent muscles everywhere and he had stubble on his perfect jaw. So many feelings had stirred in him when Dean broke into his apartment, fought him to the floor, and when he heard his voice for the first time in so many years... The feeling was indescribable.

Sam stripped off his jacket and breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the click of a lock. They were alone, and nothing bad could hurt them now. Dean walked up behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," He looked down at him, nodding, "What about you? Your face looks a little..." _Perfect?_

"Beat to Hell? Yeah, I know. But I'm fine. What about you? You got a few scrapes, Sammy." It felt good to call him that again, to hear it roll off his tongue and see his little brother respond.

Sam looked unbelieving at Dean's response, and he reached out, setting a hand against an already forming bruise on his brother's jaw, watching him flinch away from the pain. He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, no pain."

"Never said there wasn't any pain." Dean told him, grabbing his hand before he pressed down again. Sam felt a jolt of electricity when their hands met, and he couldn't help the shaky breath he let out. The older man suddenly stopped, and looked at their hands, then up at his brother. He looked unsure; blank, almost. Sam begrudgingly let his hand slip from the other's, and he felt the callouses, remembered when Dean would run his fingertips along his stomach and it would feel so good. He bit his lip, and actually had to take a step back. Dean did the same.

"So, um... I think the shifter cut my arm when he grabbed me, so I'm gonna go fix myself up." Dean backed up, heading toward the bathroom before he bumped into the wall next to the doorway, then he finally took his eyes off Sam. He closed the door most of the way, and shucked away his jacket, and dirty shirt.

The younger Winchester took off his boots and made his way over to one of the beds, sitting down with a sigh. He knew he didn't have any serious injuries, accept for maybe a slight concussion along with the cuts marring various parts of his body, and he knew Dean was okay for the most part, too. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, gingerly with his right eye, then set his head in his hands and stayed like that, thinking of what to do next. He heard the clatter of what he thought would be a first aid kit, and then Dean hiss.

Sam didn't know why he stood up, or why he walked to the bathroom. But he pushed the door open slowly, and he saw bare skin; the sun kissed skin of his brother's torso, rippled with muscles. He looked so strong. He was tending to a deep cut on his bicep, most likely given to him by some sharp, dirty thing in that sewer, and Sam was damned if it didn't make Dean look sexier.

"Are you okay? Do you need something?" That brotherly, but deep, voice cut through his thoughts and made him look up, into those green eyes that always stayed the same to him.

"I just, uh... Let me help." He moved in closer, arm brushing Dean's uninjured one as he turned on the faucet and washed his hands.

The older man watched silently as Sam grabbed a towel and dried his hands off, then went around, small bathroom making it difficult for them to _not_ be touching as he got to his cut arm. He felt the brush of denim covered hips to his favorite pair of Levi's covered ass, and he swallowed hard, forcing back a few thoughts he really didn't want to come up... or anything else, for that matter. He couldn't deny that he still wanted Sam like he wasn't supposed to, still loved him like he wasn't supposed to, but his brother was normal now. He did not want to mess that up now.

The younger man stood next to him, putting a hand around his brother's bicep so he could inspect the wound, not being able to help when he squeezed just a little to feel how much muscle was under the skin. Dean licked his lips as he looked at his brother's big hand, which went unnoticed by Sam. He cleaned the wound, getting the potential infection out, and with a little whining from his big brother, he had gauze bandaging around his arm in no time. They stood there awkwardly for a few seconds after, neither of them wanting to move, or look away from each other, but wishing the other would, to show their chances.

"Thanks, Sam." He said, giving a soft smile.

Sam just nodded, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes, only to have it fall right back into place. He grimaced to himself. Without thinking, Dean reached over and tucked the strands behind his ear, fingers brushing his jaw a bit when he pulled away. Sam caught his hand before it fell back to his side.

"Dean," He didn't meet his eyes, but stared down at their hands instead, "You might be mad at me for bringing this up, but-"

"Then don't bring it up." The older Winchester snapped before he could stop himself. His mind started to reel, and God, he didn't need this. He tried to tug his hand away, but Sam got this look on his face... This look he'd seen before, that night when he pulled away from him and said he couldn't follow through. That's what made him stop, "Sammy."

"Why did you come back for me if you knew this would happen?" He didn't let go of Dean's hand, and he squeezed it, to make sure he was actually still there, "Dean, after... What he had, I always thought of you. Always, all the time. Not because you burned it into my brain, not because you 'ruined' me for anyone else. Because I wanted to. Every time my boyfriend would ask me to..." A sigh, and a slip of tightness on Dean's hand, "I-I would think about you. Lost a couple guys because I said your name instead. But I just couldn't help myself."

"...Boyfriends? Y-You actually had real boyfriends? Real relationships?" Dean wondered about this when they had been apart. He was glad Sammy had someone, or someones over the years that cared for him. He wished he would have been there to help out, to make sure they were good enough and would love him enough. But he knew there was no one out there good enough for Sam... His Sam.

"Yeah, I did. All nice guys, but I couldn't take my mind off you. I-I... I still love you, Dean." He looked up from their hands, and saw suddenly more nervous, feeling the need to speak, to get out the truth, "And I'm not too young now. I haven't been ruined, either. It's my decision to love you, and I do. You don't have excuses anymore. D-Do you want me or not? ... God, did you ever want me? Did you ever love me? Maybe I did something wrong, I'm sor-"

Lips smashed against his, hand in contact with his suddenly gripping. It took his breath away when he realized Dean was kissing him; actually kissing him. Soft, plump lips on his, moving against his. He leaned down a bit, returning the kiss, hearing Dean start to mumble something. He pulled back just a fraction of an inch to hear him, lips brushing and his tongue running along the bottom one.

"I always want you, always love you. I love you, Sam. So much, and what did I tell you never to do?" His voice was rough and deep, deeper than Sam had ever heard it. It made his spine tingle and his head spin. He couldn't think straight as his big brother engaged him in a soft kiss while he waited for an answer.

"N-Never... Never forget to clean the guns after a hunt?" The taller man mumbled, sounding dazed. Dean would have chuckled if it hadn't been such a serious thing he was trying to get across.

"No, Sammy. I love you, and you love me. And don't you _ever_ fucking apologize for it." Dean told him sternly before he was kissing him again. Hard, rough and fast, to try to make up for all the time they spent fighting and upset. "I love you"s were mixed with the kiss, both of them trying to get it out, let it out and let it be heard. Dean grabbed him by the front of the shirt and pulled them out of the bathroom, not caring if he hurt himself, too busy kissing Sammy to think about it.

Sam steered them to the bed, thinking it be a much safer place than the wall or the table. But Dean wasn't having it. He stopped them in the middle of the room and pushed his hips against Sam's, not being able to wait. He got a moan.

"Dean, please." The younger man whimpered, tilting his head back so his brother could have more room to bite and lick down his throat.

"No." He growled, biting a mark into the skin, getting a growl to match his. That was something he'd never heard from his baby brother, deep and primal and wanting. Sam wanted more contact, and he realized was strong enough to get it now. He leaned down quickly and grabbed the backs of Dean's thighs, taking his brother by surprise when he hoisted him up.

He pressed their bodies together and groaned at the rough slide of hips, backing him into the wall with force. He ground up against him, legs going tight around his hips. Dean's head rolled back against the wall as he let out a groan, and Sam smirked evilly, attacking the older man's neck with his mouth. Kissing, biting, inhaling the hotel soap and dirt from the hunt, the smell of the Impala interior carrying with him. He always liked the engine oil and old leather smell if it was mixed with the sweet, natural, home scent of Dean. His body spray had mostly wore off from the day they'd had, but Sam still managed to smell it; cinnamon and some sort of musk. Sam loved how much Dean there was around him, embracing him. He couldn't get enough of it. The older Winchester wrapped his arms around his brothers shoulders, blunt nails digging into his back, making Sammy press against him tighter. It felt amazing to be sandwiched in between a cold wall and a hot and heavy Sam.

He took a fistful of shaggy hair and pulled his brother's head away from his neck. They met eyes for a moment before Dean sealed their lips, tongue slipping into Sam's already open and welcoming mouth. They both groaned and rutted up against each other, needy and not giving them time to think... Not that their thoughts would have been anything other than how good it felt to have the other close again. Sam broke the kiss suddenly, and Dean sucked in breath to protest, but Sam shushed him softly. He set him down, and the shorter man wondered why. Until Sam slipped to his knees.

His eyes widened as his little brother licked his lips, "Sam, you don't gotta-"

"I want to... I wanna taste you."

And Dean shivered at that. He'd been wanting to taste Sam for so long, and the kisses were more than satisfactory to his addiction, but he'd be needing more soon. Sam popped the button and pulled the zipper before he tugged the denim down from Dean's hips, fondling the bulge in his brother's boxers.

"Wanted this for so long, Dean. Wished you would've let me a long time ago." He said, voice dripping with sex as he looked up at his big brother. The older man pulled his lip between his teeth as he rocked softly into that big, strong hand. He'd wanted this, too. All the girls and guys over the years just hadn't done it for him; he loved Sam.

"I love you, Sammy." He whispered, and his brother smiled before hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers and pulling them down.

Sam wet his lips and didn't waste any time, taking the tip of Dean's cock into his mouth, tasting the precome as his tongue swiped over the slit. The older brother gasped, one of his hands instinctively latching onto his hair, not guiding him just yet. He didn't know how much dick Sam had sucked, but he decided that he was damn good at it as he took more of Dean in, starting to suck. His tongue was slowly gliding down the underside, then stiffening as he pulled away, hollowing out his cheeks and gently moaning. He took him back in, bobbing his head slowly, just to get out more and longer sounds from his brother. Dean groaned and forced his eyes off Sammy so his head could rest back on the wall as he took a deep breath.

"God, Sam, that's good. Fucking professional cock sucker." He tightened the grip on his hair, and Sam moaned around him, most of him in his mouth. Dean's hips bucked a little, but tried to hold back. The younger man didn't seem to mind as he kept working, and Dean just went with it. He decided to talk more, remembering that his bedroom voice got his little Sammy off, "Gonna fuck you so good, like you need to be. How many good fucks you been given, baby?"

He looked down at Sam, expecting to see Sam slutty with a hand against his crotch, but he got his brother looking up at him, and he knew what it meant. He took a deep breath at the wave of pleasure that ran through him because of that look, and Sam moaned when he felt the heavy cock on his tongue twitch. He started to pick up the pace, wanting to taste Dean before he asked any more questions, but Dean wouldn't have that either. He pulled him off by tugging on his hair with a gentle hand. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and looked expectant up at his big brother. The older man held out a hand and Sam took it, standing up. His brother pulled his underwear back up but kicked off his jeans, then leaned up and attached his lips to the other's. Their kiss was short, but Sam still loved it. Dean's hands found the worn out hem of his shirt and pulled up, helping the taller man take it off.

"You're amazing, Sam." He ran a hand down the toned chest in front of him, feeling along the warm skin, slowly counting each abdomen muscle before his hand was on his brother's felt buckle.

Sam let out a shaky breath, "Take me to the bed, Dean. Please."

The older Winchester looked up at him, already moving away from the wall, leading Sam as he walked backwards to the bed, "I'm gonna make love to you. I'm gonna do it right."

The taller man went speechless and Dean smiled. He pushed Sam down onto the bed, eyes dark with lust and want. He climbed onto the bed, Sam opening his legs for him. He crawled in between them and immediately started kissing his chest, making his way down, tongue swirling down along the divots and valleys of his abdomen. Sam watched, hands balled into fists in the sheets at the sensations of that amazing tongue, his hips arching up for attention. He made a broken noise when a strong hand cupped him roughly through his jeans, rubbing him.

Dean chuckled softly and let go, both hands quickly undoing the belt buckle, then his jeans. His little brother lifted his hips and he tugged them off, along with his boxers, leaving him exposed. He looked at Sam's bare hips and strong legs, then his eyes fell on his cock. Sam was _huge._

"Damn." He mumbled, and his brother chuckled. He looked up, seeing how amused he looked.

"I grew up, and so did you." The younger Winchester licked his lips, grabbing onto his brother's boxers and yanking them down. Dean kicked them away and leaned up, pressing their naked bodies together, both of them gasping softly. Sam's arms wrapped around him, as did his legs, and the older brother dipped his head down, capturing his lips. The younger man rocked his hips up into Dean's, listening to the noises that were made against his mouth.

"Dean," He ran his hands down his big brother's back, onto his ass, remembering the first time he saw it. Dean lurched forward slightly, but relaxed almost instantly, "My duffel."

He let go of his brother so he could get up, and the older Winchester reached over, keeping a hand on Sammy's inner thigh. His fingers glided across a scar that hadn't been there the last time he'd seen the other naked, and he felt protective instantly. He dragged his brother's bag over and grabbed the lube out of the bottom of the bag before leaning down and placing a kiss to the scar. Sam whimpered softly. Dean shushed him quietly, popping the cap open and squirting some onto his fingers.

"Don't be nervous... I'm already a little stretched." The younger brother said, blushing at the falter in Dean's movements when the words reached his ears. Dean composed himself and got close again, giving a smile to Sam before running a slick finger along his entrance. He licked his lips at feeling that his baby brother's hole was stretched, and it gave him assurance that he wouldn't be hurting him as he slipped a finger in.

Sam hummed in approval, head resting back on the pillows, ready to let Dean have him any way he wanted; every way. He licked his lips and gently inserted another finger next to the first, loving the way Sam's hips rocked up for more. He thrust them shallowly, listening to the soft groans his brother let out, and Dean thought maybe he meant to look as hot and slutty as he did.

"Oh God, Dean. Hurry up, I need you." Sam let out a breathy moan, and the shorter brunette crooked his fingers, watching Sammy's hips buck before he pulled the digits out.

The other man gave him a look, but he smirked, applying more lube to his palm to rub over his cock, "You ready for me, baby?"

"Please." The younger brother spread his legs wider, giving Dean all the room he needed, shivering as he pressed the slick tip against him. He leaned over his little brother, grabbing his wrists and pinning them against the mattress, making Sam chuckle softly and give an experimental tug.

"Mm." He relaxed and let out a deep breath, completely trusting. Dean smiled and kissed him as he carefully pushed his hips forward. Sam gasped at the feeling of his brother entering him, and the older Winchester pulled away to look at his face, one hand moving to push strands of hair from his face before it was back to his wrist. He stopped when he was fully in, placing soft kisses all over his brother's face, whispering about how good he was doing, how much Dean loved him. Sam felt loved, felt it blooming right in his chest, and it almost hurt at how good it felt.

He tugged against Dean's hands and shifted his hips up, letting him know it was okay to move. The older man gently rocked out then back in, both of them sucking in sharp breaths. Their first movements were slow, careful, Dean giving Sam room to tell him to stop if he realized this wasn't what he wanted. The younger man was reveling in the feeling of being filled up all the way for the first time. He felt complete with Dean, opposed to feeling like a freak deep down while he was at school. He felt like a piece of him was missing at school, and he knew it was his brother.

"Oh God, Sam. You're still so tight." The shorter brunette felt so sensitive, and Sam probably was feeling it too, and his heart was hammering in his chest for more than one reason. He squeezed Sammy's wrists as the other pulled and tugged, moaning softly.

"D-Dean, just a little faster. Please, I-I just... _Ohh_." Dean's hips bucked into him without permission from the owner and the taller man whimpered, closing his eyes at the too sudden movement. The other Winchester caught himself, cursing silently that his brother's voice could do that to him. He looked up at his little brother and his eyes widened.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry." He placed kisses to his lips, getting soft ones in return, "I'm so sorry. You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I'm fine." Sam nodded a little, taking a deep breath, opening his eyes to see Dean's concerned ones, "Keep going, I'm okay. I want this."

The older man took a moment, the nodded, reaching down and taking a hold of the backs of his brother's knees, bringing them up to hook around his hips, listening to the soft gasp. Sam wrapped his arms around the other's neck, letting his hands go into that short brown hair. Dean looked nervous as he started to rock again, and the younger man clenched around him, moaning quietly with his eyes on Dean. He leaned up and kissed him, catching him by surprise, but feeling it returned in seconds. Dean moved his lips slowly, trying to tame his hunger so his baby brother would be comfortable. Sam slipped his tongue into Dean's mouth, wet muscles rubbing against each other, the tip of the younger Winchester's swirling at his, enticing him into his own mouth. The shorter man took the bait and tasted his brother, groaning as he pushed forward again.

The younger man gripped harder to the other's hair, eliciting another groan. He wanted to make his big brother growl. He loved when he did that, and with Dean's deepened voice... _Oh God, yes_. He needed to hear it, but his brain momentarily stopped working when his hips were angled a bit differently and he saw stars. He gasped and moaned, hips bucking up for more of that amazing sensation. Dean chuckled against his lips before pulling away, mouth moving to suckle on Sam's jaw and neck, thrusts getting faster. His hair was tugged again with a whimper of his name, making him roughly shove his hips forward, hitting that spot inside Sammy. The other Winchester threw his head back onto the pillow and made a loud, deep, ragged sound that had Dean's spine tingling.

He breathed harshly against his brother's neck, "Oh, I love those sounds, Sammy. That's so good."

Sam whined softly, trying for more, "Dean, please. Fuck, I need-I need it harder."

The older man obliged, snapping his hips harder, sitting up slightly for more force. Sam laid his arms back on the mattress, looking up at Dean's sweaty and toned body, muscles in his stomach clenching with every thrust. His face was flushed and determined, but also so full of pleasure. Sam had the urge to kiss him again. He was about to reach up when a violent hit to his sweet spot made him cry out. Dean watched him closely, listening to him pant and moan for him after, loving every sound he made. He felt on edge, but kept going, holding back his own release until Sam came apart. He wrapped a hand around his brother's cock and pumped quickly, trying not to get too excited from the whimper of his name. Sam couldn't think straight with all the pleasure coursing through his system, but he tried to. Tried to get out what he wanted, seeing as he wouldn't last much longer.

He managed "Dean" and "closer" and "so close". Dean seemed to understand. He leaned back down, reluctantly taking his hand away from his little brother's length so he could support his weight. Sam moaned and tightened his legs around him, feeling as his big brother buried his face in his neck. He pinned the taller man's hands and laced their fingers together, pounding his hips into Sam with a growl. The younger Winchester faltered, body tensing as he let out a long, deep groan, spurts of white suddenly covering their stomachs. That threw Dean over the edge, voice scratchy and wrecked as he groaned, mumbling Sammy's name over and over again, filling his brother up. The younger man moaned softly, voice crackling softly around the edges, rocking his hips as they both rode it out.

They took a moment, hips slowing. The older man sucked in a deep breath, "I love you so much, Sammy."

He managed a very breathy chuckle, smiling with his eyes closed as Dean squeezed his hands before letting go, "I love you, too, Dean."

"You really didn't let anyone do this to you before?" The shorter man asked softly, although he had a feeling it was true.

"I always topped," Sam opened his eyes and took a deep breath, let it out, then took another, "I wouldn't let anyone else."

"Just me?"

"Only you. I only wanted you."

Dean picked his head up, smile gracing his features, Sam loving the crinkles around his eyes, the joy spread across his entire face, "Come here, you."

He pressed their mouths together, a soft, happy kiss, both of them sighing as they calmed down. The other's legs dropped carefully to the sides, and the older Winchester took the moment to gently withdraw his softening length from his little brother. He kissed away the whimper of loss, and kissed some more before they needed to breathe again. He pushed the damp from sweat hair away from Sam's face, and asked him if he was okay, happy when he nodded. They got up and went to the bathroom, making the shower warm before they stepped in, not wanting to be apart even though the space was cramped. They washed each other off, getting nice and clean before Dean got out early to take the sheets off the bed. He put new ones on, even though there were two beds in the room, actually smelling the cleanness on them, then got clothes for him and Sam, about to put them on when he entered the room.

"Hi." The taller man smiled, rubbing a towel over his hair while another was wrapped around his hips. Dean beckoned him over with the wave of a hand and a smile, handing him the clothes. They got dressed, feeling sated and sleepy, both of them just about falling into bed together, facing each other.

Sam cuddled, as well as a man his size could, into the warmth of his brother's arms, head settled against his chest, almost tucked under his jaw. He had one arm around Dean's waist, and Dean's were supporting his head and around his shoulder. The older man shifted himself just a little closer, leg wrapping around Sammy's, feeling the chuckle against his shirt. He placed a kiss to his hairline and smiled, mumbling a goodnight and i love you before shutting his eyes. He faintly heard Sam do the same before he drifted to sleep. It was perfect; they were complete.

* * *

><p>After a few days, they went to see Bobby, and parted hands as the door swung open. They smiled, and Bobby inspected them, smiling as he noticed how close they were standing, "Hey boys, come in."<p>

They both mumbled a word of thanks before entering the house, "We thought we'd drop in, say hi." Dean said. Even though he wanted to find Dad, Bobby was important, too.

Sam followed his brother into the kitchen, noticing the small mess of bowls and pans, "Been cooking, Bobby?"

"Yeah. Was making cobbler when you two came knocking." The elder hunter went over to the fridge, taking out a few beers and passing one to each of the brothers before opening his own.

"I can finish it if you want." Sam offered, opening his drink and taking a sip. He almost chuckled at how he could still taste Dean on his lips from when they kissed in the car.

"Sure, Sam. Thanks." Bobby smiled, sitting down across from the older Winchester, "So, how have you boys been? Heard about your funeral, Dean. 'Bout scared me half to death."

Dean chuckled, "Yeah, kind of a crazy hunt. But we're all good."

Sam turned his head just so, catching his brother smile at him, and he grinned back. Bobby noticed. He was starting to wonder when the kids would just tell me already; he could tell they were closer again, warmer to each other, more than when Sam left for college. It broke his heart to see the boys hot hug, not look each other in the eye even though they took in the other's appearance like they were about to die. He was more than happy to see them happy, especially with each other.

"So, anything you two wanna talk about?" They both shook their heads. Bobby scoffed, "Come on, I ain't an idiot. I know about you two."

"Well... I know you know about me." Sam spoke up cautiously. He'd talked with Bobby over the years, on and off, and he had been told about Sam being gay. He hadn't told anyone, kept up the silent promise he'd made to the boy, because it wasn't his secret to tell.

"Yeah, but..." He looked to Dean, who was downing half his beer, eyes not on either of the others. He looked nervous of being pushed away, of being written off, and that made Sam nervous.

"Son, you can tell me," Bobby coaxed, taking a moment before looking up at Sam, who had stopped cooking, "I don't have anything against it, I didn't when you two were kids, either."

Dean faltered slightly, almost choking on his beer, thinking that all these years that they had hidden it quite well. Sam was at his side, patting his back as he coughed, "You knew?"

The elder hunter nodded, "Knew something was up with you two. Dean came to me about a promise he made but was scared, then I heard both of you fighting that one day. I thought everything was gonna be fine after that, seein' as both of you were so close. But I guess not. It's better now, right?"

Sam nodded even though Dean was a little hesitant, "You don't hate us?"

"'Course not. You two never had normal lives, why should you two being together be banned?" He said, honestly not minding. He always knew that they'd need each other, and if they had each other in this way, then he was fine with it. Sure, he didn't want to see them freely making out on his couch, but he still loved them like his own and wanted them happy.

"Did you tell Dad?" Sam asked, hating to think there would be fatherly wrath when they found him. He was always scared Dad would find out about him, hate him, not want him anymore. He stilled loved his father, no matter how much they fought or disagreed.

"Nope, kept my mouth shut. I thought I'd wait until you were ready, but it's right in front of my face now, so I thought I'd say I accept 'ya."

The brothers took a moment, giving a look to one another before thanking their father figure. They wouldn't have to hide from at least one person, and when they found Dad, they hoped it would be the same way.


End file.
